I Don't Know How to Clean, But Chris Cervelli Does!

I was on the phone with Donna this morning, complaining about the snow, being sick, and having no energy to clean my house. She suggested, wisely, that I should make a list of things I needed to do today, things that I haven't gotten to yet and wanted to accomplish.

I started the list. One of things I wanted to do was conquer all the dishes in my sink**.
**I know this picture is going to upset Cordy and Chaim who once cleaned the pants off my kitchen. Sorry guys.

This task seemed overwhelming to me in my feverish state. So we agreed that I would, instead, wash three major dishes, meaning three large dishes such as pots or pans. Donna's boyfriend, Chris, overheard our conversation and started vetoing this idea in the background. There's something you should know about Chris, he is an excellent cleaner.

Whenever I visit Donna and Chris' apartment I am constantly impressed by their spotless floors, which Chris is in charge of cleaning. I was so intrigued by Mr. Cervelli's vocal dissonance in the background that I asked to speak with him directly.

"If you want to do the dishes," Chris (the cleaning voice of reason) began "Don't do three of them, do all of them."

"Chris," I began "I feel really sick. But seeing the dishes in the sink really bothers me!"

"If you don't feel well, you shouldn't be doing the dishes, you should be doing something more useful, like resting. When you feel better, then conquer the dishes."
"Okay..." I said still feeling bad about the dishes.

Somehow, we started on the topic of cleaning. I was raised in a household where my mom ended up cleaning my room for me because she could never manage to get me to do it myself. I admit it, I was spoiled. Anyway, the point is I never learned how to clean. At 30 years old, I think it's about damn time that I took the cleaning leap. Here is what Chris Cervelli, master cleaner, taught me about cleaning:

• In order to properly clean, you need to have as little in your apartment as possible. That means throw away, or donate to charity, items and/or furniture you don't use
  
• Purchase a good broom- a good broom doesn't need to be expensive. It means that it has hard bristles and is durable
  
• Purchase a mini broom and dustpan set like this:

This will be excellent for spot cleaning-- meaning if you see some Cherrios on the floor and you quickly want to trap them. Having the dwarf sized broom will prolong the life of the big broom.

• If you have cats (which I do) have a separate broom for cat litter then you have for regular daily sweeping
  
• This is a big one: NO SHOES IN THE HOUSE! Shoes track dirt and nastiness onto your floors. You can make occasional exceptions to this rule if you have a party and you don't want to demand that all of your guests remove their shoes.
  

Thank you Chris Cervelli, master cleaner for your tips! I am now inspired to clean my house!