Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Mystery Baby: Reveal Yourself!

Today was my 20 week ultrasound. Despite the fact that I was exhausted from my friend Leigh's wedding last night (Orthodox Jewish weddings are fun but oy! The food, the dancing!) I had a hard time getting to sleep. I was excited, because today was the day that I would find out the gender of my mystery baby.

When I into the exam room, I immediately informed the ultrasound technician that I wanted to know the gender. It seemed like forever until we got to that part of the exam. She was measuring every single part of the baby. I kept saying:

"Is every thing normal?"
"Yes...so far." She repeated every time I asked. "So far" (by the way) is an infuriating and nerve racking response. Like there could be something wrong at any moment?

I have to admit I was bored. As long as every thing was fine, there were no toes or a femur missing I wanted to peer in between this baby's legs and get to the real reason why I was here.


During the course of the exam, the mystery baby yawned and pointed an accusatory finger at myself and Susan, the technician. Yes, Susan is her real name. She has no kids and one male cat. I found this out while I was bored out my mind looking at my fetus' kidneys.

I also found out that my placenta previa is no longer an issue! My placenta is not blocking the cervix, however, I now have another placenta condition. I had to laugh when I heard the term for this one. It's called "Battledore Placenta." It sounds so Medieval!

Essentially, what it means is this: the umbilical cord is supposed to connect to the center of the placenta. Mine connects on the side of the placenta, like a tennis racket (not the analogy I choose to use, I am merely quoting ultrasound tech Susan). Here is a diagram to further confuse you:

Then the moment of truth finally came. Without warning Susan announced that...the umbilical cord was between the baby's legs! She didn't know what the baby was!

I couldn't say I was surprised. This baby obviously did not want to be found out.

Unfortunately, this baby has a persistent Jewish mother. Anonymity was completely unacceptable. I shook my belly until that damn umbilical cord moved.

I refused to be defeated by a being that is only 3/4 of lb. That's not how I roll.

Turns out...that...this baby is...a.... GIRL!

Yes, a girl. I was so excited and relieved to know!

I told Ari the news over lunch.

This ginger ale was so good, by the way.

"Ari," I said "you're going to have a sister! What do you think about that?" Here was his reaction:

Shortly after this picture was taken, he bumped his head on the metal table in the deli and sustained an enormous bruise near his eye. Fortunately a E.R. doctor from the hospital was having a salad behind us. I asked him:
"Does this classify as a head injury?"
"No, he's fine. He just bumped his eye."
"Sorry, I know you're off duty."I replied.
"Never!" He said with a laugh.

My mom complimented me on being resourceful enough to seek out his advice.

She is very excited to have another granddaughter (my brother has two girls- a step-daughter and a newborn).

And so the mystery baby is no longer a mystery. She is a girl.

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  1. Congrats on having a girl. They should tell you the sex immediately before doing all the other stuff. Ours did. Anyway I got more than I bargained for with this one, tennis racket placentas and all.

  2. The word "placenta" in itself is strange and intimidating. But yes, who knew that placentas and tennis rackets were connected in any way shape or form?

  3. Mazel Tov !!! Although my daughter is 9 now,I still remember the day when we found out that she was a girl:My husband said I could not stop smiling the whole way back home.I love your blog and read all the time (I am not big on leaving a comment,but understand your "Validation" dilemma),but I just had to comment on this one!!! I also felt your pain when you described Ari's day at the nursery school and how other moms were looking at you and you had almost a meltdown...Well, I have a 6 year old son and I wish I can tell you that it gets better...(Well, it does,just a little),but along with great days I still have those helpless days in the playground and at school,where parents of the nice,well behaved girls look at me like I am from Mars and I still can not sit down and enjoy a piece of cake at someones Birthday Party (unless my husband is in charge of "watching" our son),but I must say that he is heavily into Lego's now and despite the cost (They are expensive!!!),it gives me sometimes the whole hour or even more of relaxing time and it is excellent for the imagination & development. It is a part of motherhood and I am very sure I will miss even those days dearly ones they are all grown up Congratulations again ,very happy for you!!!

  4. Evelyn, Thank you, thank you and thank you! I gotta tell you, your comment made my day! I am so happy that you read my blog, and thrilled that you can relate to my experiences as a mother. And as for that day at the nursery school, you are too kind. I DID have a melt down. I full on lost it. But that's cool. I own that. You have convinced me to purchase an enormous amount of Legos.

  5. Hey there!

    Thanks so much for sharing your joy! I'm especially glad that your placenta "migrated" and is no longer covering your cervix so you can continue to plan for a beautiful home birth of your baby girl! Mazel tov and much love, Stacey

  6. Stacey- As you are a midwife, that means a lot to me. Thank you. Now what's with this whole placenta battledore situation?

  7. Yay! Congrats on the news. I don't know first hand the differences between raising boys versus girls, but you are sure to have some very new, very exciting adventures ahead!

  8. congrats!
    i wish there were drs everywhere i went with my kids. thatd save me a placenta-load of time.

  9. Thank you! "Placenta-load!" HA HA HA!

  10. Hey that's just awesomeness! Congratulations! And deepfried, that made me belly laugh!!!

  11. Yaay, little mini Sarah!! Congrats! Can't wait to see this little baby girl! So, decided on the name yet?

  12. YAY! We got a name. Should I email it to you?

  13. Since I'm a complete stranger, I'll have no problem suggesting a name. LOL Name her Ginger! :)

  14. Bill- HA HA! Well, based on my bogus chicken experiment yesterday, I should really name her "Cinnamon." In case you weren't privy to this information, I doused chicken drumsticks in Cinnamon accidentally. Whoops! I thought it was Cajun Spice!

  15. Yeay! How awesome is that? Congrats!

  16. Congrats congrats congrats! I have a 2.5 year old son and when I was preggo with my know 6 mo daughter, we didn't find out. I told everyone I really didn't care about the gender, but secretly, I really wanted a girl. The best words I heard on the day my daughter was born? My hubby screaming "A GIRL!!!" I'm such a sarcastic, border-line tomboy that I never really thought I'd get into being a mommy to a girl. But, after only 6 mo, I'm pretty into it. Plus, it makes the decision to have another child more of a decision. I don't feel obligated to "try" for a girl.

    Anyway, that was a really long-winded way of saying CONGRATS!!! I just recently found your blog and love it. Good luck with being preggo and having a toddler....I feel that we should get free nannies for those 9 months!!!

  17. Holly- Thank you so much! I, too, was a total tom boy. I getting it. Yet, I am psyched to have a girl! I'm lucky, in that we live upstairs from my parents. I'm hoping they can spend some QT with Ari when baby #2 is born!

  18. CONGRATS!!! And welcome to hell!!! I mean, awesomeness! When we found out the sex of our second kid (girl) we were shocked, stoked & then peed on by our son who was still in diapers and demanding to have his ass wiped.

    Oh...and the whole placenta thing...congrats and eeewwwww!!!

  19. Why Is Daddy Crying- Thank you. I look forward to seeing you in the Inferno. If you can't handle placenta, you are weak, dude, weak. LOL!

  20. Congrats on your baby girl! With one of each you'll be livin' the dream! :)

  21. That's hilarious. Congrats. Silly to say. But a boy and a girl, so lucky ;)

  22. This is so exciting!!!!!

  23. I am personally wayyyyy over excited that you're having a girl. Now I know how Cordy felt when I was pregnant, probably praying I had a girl so she could get rid of stuff. Do you think you'll be one of those people that dresses her in pink constantly? Just wondering since you were a tomboy. I was too and I truly dislike the girl "uniform" yet find it hard to resist some uber girly, ruffly stuff at times. Ari is going to be the best big bro, and I think having a sister will help him be a more "in-touch with his feminine side" kinda guy - if Wil's reading, that's a GOOD thing, no worries! I think it will drastically change Wil too, because yeah fathers love their sons, but it's something different with daughters I think. She will have him wrapped around her finger immediately.

  24. Amanda- I am living the dream!

    Harriet- I'm so psyched!

    Brenda- Sooo exciting

    Amanda (T's mom) - I was so freakin' psyched when I found out, and I literally thought. "I want to CALL Amanda! HA HA! But then I don't have your number. :(. I was dying to tell you. DYING! I am against scary tutu-like things, but I'm not against pink. I think pink is cute. I just don't want my little girl to be absorbed by a crinoline.

    Wil has wanted a girl since I found out I was pregnant the first time, with Ari. I wanted a boy! And I got him! Wil is so happy he has Ari now, but he really wanted a girl at the time. So now, he is going to get a girl! And I get my girl too!

  25. So excited for you! Thank goodness a doctor was there when Ari bumped his eye!

  26. Congrats!!! Girls are great!! I have a Girl and a boy. I luv it!!


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