I've had the luxury of staying home entirely with Ari over the summer. Despite my pregnant mood swings and his throwing my carefully prepared meals all over the floor (amazingly) we still love each other.
Unfortunately, when I returned to the land of substitute teaching, I realized that I had to make an effort to be liked at work.
It's sad, really, but I care about what my co-workers think about me. I get along with most people at school, but there is one person in particular who (no matter how nice I am to this individual) the person in question is still openly rude, condescending, and blatantly disrespectful to me.
Now, you may be thinking:
"Stop taking it so personally! Who cares if this person likes you? You're not there to be liked! Get a grip! This is a job! You're not there to make friends!"
Or something along those lines.
Well, guess what? I do care. Yes, I care what this person thinks about me because they have made it known (by their behavior) that they don't like me. It's uncomfortable, and I hate it.
I wish I didn't care. I wish I could be one of those people who, simply, went to work, kept my head down and did my job. But, I care what others think about me. That's just my nature. I want to be accepted, and it bothers me that this person doesn't accept me.
In the mean time, I will focus on the fact that I have an awesome kiddo at home who loves me, and a cool boyfriend who tries to get me not to care about people like the individual mentioned above.
Now I have a question for you: do you care about being liked at work? Thoughts?
After all these years of being a nice person, I thought that I really ought to be a bit tougher. Then suddenly out of the blue, I started reaping the benefits of being a nice person. I left my job and all of these former colleagues from years of working started sending work my way. I was shocked. They knew me and trusted me and I think, gosh darn it, they like me. Yay for nice people.
ReplyDeleteHarriet, that is so good to hear! I guess being a nice person does pay off!
ReplyDeleteAt my first "real" job where I was a manager, I had a co-worker tell me once that nobody in the entire store liked me, and they all "hated my guts" and talked about me when I wasn't around. He said it vindictively...I cried!! I think the worst is not knowing WHY people feel this way about you and the fact that they won't just come out and SAY it!
ReplyDeleteI too wish I didn't care what people thought about me. Maybe just confront this person and be like "hey, what exactly is your deal with me?"
Yeah, I think it might come down to that. I think I have to wait until the person is rude against, and then call them on it.
ReplyDeleteThat's so awful that your ex-co-worker said that to you! What is wrong with people?
I had a situation like this once and it totally changed the way I go about making friends.
ReplyDeleteI chose to confront the person, telling them that I had been nothing but nice and was only looking to make a friend or a casual acquaintance in the very least. She responded by telling me that is why she was so irritated with me. Apparently, I had made it very obvious that I was searching for friends.
Now I just make sure that I am nice to as many people as possible and silently hope that they like me back.
Yeah, I guess that makes the most sense. Wow, that is really bizarre that she said that to you. But also kind of helpful? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteWell, I'm a bitch, so my comments may not count. You should always take anything I say with a grain of salt!
ReplyDeleteI think the ability to not be bothered by stuff like that comes with time. I know when I was younger I was much more concerned with what co-workers thought of me.
At this point, though, as long as I am doing my job, maintaining my professionalism, and my boss doesn't hate me, I'm ahead of the game. I've actually had a boss where the animosity was mutual, and it took us several months to move past it and work together professionally without letting our feelings for each other get in the way. Now I have a better boss, and if someone else at work hates me, as long as we can both maintain the level of professionalism needed to work together, it's OK.
And absolutely, you should call her out-but be the bigger person. Stay calm, maintain your tone of voice, be firm. If she starts yelling and screaming, let her.
Let us know how it goes.
See! I wish I could be that way/ think that way! But you're right, it could come with time. I'll wait until it happens again, and then say something. I'll write about the result.
ReplyDeleteI would be lying if I said that I didn't care what people thought about me. But the one thing I realized is the only way to be truly unhappy is to try and please everyone. And 9 out of 10 times, when someone doesn't like you, it really has nothing to do with you. It's their own stuff unless your a blatant asshole (which you are not). I know it's hard but try to let it go. And if you find that you can't, try to muster up the courage to confront this person and tell them how you feel.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good point. Pleasing everyone is impossible. I'll try to let it go, unless it's unbearable. Remember I am hormonal so I am also subsequently easily irritated.
ReplyDeleteI am always super nice at work (even on bad days). That being said, I could care less if I'm not liked. I am polite. That's all I can do.
ReplyDeleteKeyona- See, I'm not like that at ALL. You sound like Wil. LOL! He doesn't care at ALL what people think of him at work. That's why he doesn't understand when I say stuff like this. He's like "F$$k them!"
ReplyDeleteOh, I so feel you on this. I am crushed if I think someone doesn't like me.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note- if that "person" keeps being rude to you, I am available for hired beatdowns... just sayin'.
You're services could be required! I will keep ya posted! I'm glad you feel my pain ;)
ReplyDeleteI try my best to be nice to everyone in general, whether it be at work or play or whatever. I think it just makes life easier to be nice than to be an asshole.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I used to care what people thought about me. But then I found that people who didn't like me, were also assholes in general to other people. And were therefore generally disliked. Because they are assholes.
So wipe that ass and move on I say. :)