Monday, September 20, 2010

Do You Wanna Be My Friend or Not?

So there's this mom. We've hung out a couple of times. She's super cool. Her kid is super cool. She's pregnant with another kid who I'm sure will be just as cool.

But, she's a flake.

I'll text her "Hey! I'm heading to the playground! You wanna hang out?"

No response.

I previously chalked it up to the fact that, she probably doesn't want to be my friend, which is sad. But okay, I can handle it. I'll live.

However, lately, I've been running into her on the playground with another mom friend who I can't help but give the evil eye to.

I'm sure this woman is perfectly nice, she has no obvious deformities physically or emotionally. She seems fine. But, obviously she's won out over me. I'm not cool enough to hang out with apparently.

Today, my ego was bruised enough to confront my maybe-friend. I couldn't take it anymore.

We were sitting on a bench, and the conversation went a little something like this:

"So, I was going to text you today, but I figured you wouldn't respond."
"I know," she said "I'm sorry, I'm a horrible friend."
"No, it's fine. I just get the distinct feeling that you don't wanna hang out with me. That's how it's coming across."
"No, no! I promise. It's not that. I'm just terrible at getting back to people."

I understand that. I could almost buy it. But if she's so terrible at getting back to people, how have she and this other woman managed to make plans? I've seen them together at least two times.

Look, if she doesn't want to be my friend, I'm okay with it, but enough with the mixed signals already. I can't take it anymore!

Have you ever been unsure if someone wanted to be your mom friend or not?

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  1. Oh I hate stuff like this. In 2007 I went through a lot of friend crap. Ever since I just have kinda being a lot more cautious about people. Basically if you are sending me all "yes I do want to hang out with you" signs I will try to be your friend. Anything iffy I just forget about. I just don't have the heart to deal with that kinda thing again. Even if it is just because the person is a little flaky.

  2. lol i'm BAD at getting back to people too.... i have 2 besties and they both have to text me... granted i ALWAYS text back but i never text first and they know it... i also hate talking on the phone. maybe this girl is just a bitch (my opinion) cause who wouldn't wanna be friends with ya?! yer awesome!

  3. Julie- I think you have the right attitude. It's true, enough with the ambigious signals. There has to be definite "yes" behavior involved! Things get so complicated when you have kids.

    Aimee- You are awesome! HA HA! Yeah, I can be flaky at getting back to people to. I get it. But, I am awesome. Seriously.

  4. I have to admit this lady sounds like me! I am so terrible about getting back to people, and I'm also really shy around new people and find it hard to start a fresh, new friendship. Perhaps the other mom you see her with is an older friend, already established, and that's why they hang out? I met a girl on Facebook once, Molly, and I flaked on her maybe 5 times until she finally said, "you know, sooner or later I'm going to quit trying..." and that made me really get over my "fear" of her and we finally met up. That was 3 years ago and now we're good friends. In a world where we lack of face-to-face relationships, it's tough for people to go "old school" and actually meet up in person, or talk on the phone. We rely on texting, emailing, Facebooking. I find that it's so much easier for socially-awkward people such as myself, but understand that you can't really get by in life without "real" friends.

    I hope that lady gets over whatever her problem is and hangs out with you. From her response, she does sound like she wants to be friends...but is maybe too chicken to actually do much about it.

  5. Also - just to add to my previous thoughts - maybe she has self confidence issues and purposefully limits her friends because she's afraid of what new people might think or say about her. Or maybe that's just me...I totally think like that.

  6. Well she might just run into her friend there at the park like you do and be too busy to answer the texts all the time like most of us are! At least she was nice about it! (Do I know her!?!) lol. You never know...I guess just play it out but don't get too attached! But it could just be busy-with-kids syndrome. lol.

  7. Amanda, if you flaked on me in San D, I would have been SOOO pissed! LOL! We had fun, I'm glad we met up in person and actually like each other non-virtually! HAHA!

  8. Amanda- I miss meeting people old school.

    Cordy- that's true. I hadn't thought of that! Maybe they do meet up randomly. You don't know her. Lol.

  9. Oh and Amanda, I never considered the self confidence issues. Good call!

  10. It's like dating:

  11. Oh sad, Statia! I wanted to leave a comment, but comments were closed! I totally agree. It is like dating. I've used this analogy time and time again. But I loved that story. You're right, it makes you want to wear nice clothes when you meet a new mom/date/friend.

  12. Oh no no no no no. Once you become a mom, there is just no time or energy for mixed signals!
    I am admittedly bad at calling people back, but texting?! It's the easiest thing in the world to do.
    Good for you for asking her flat out about it.

  13. She's just not that into you! Move on Sarah! You can do so much better!

  14. Mommy NanniBooBoo - Thank you! I totally agree! No time for that!

    Jenn- LMAO!!! Thanks babe!

  15. I'll be your friend! But then again, I'm pretty flaky too, and of course I don't live anywhere near you, but still... :)

  16. Amanda- Let's be friends! At least you KNOW you're a flake!

  17. I don't get girls. Good for you for confronting her though.

  18. You're not sure if she wants to be your friend? Keep calling her things like "a flake" on your blog and eventually that problem will solve itself! ;-)

  19. First of all, I highly DOUBT that she'll read this. But if she did, she knows that she's a flake. LOL!;)

    And beyond that, I've decided, she probably doesn't want to be my friend, and that's cool!


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