I pretended I was okay this morning when Ari woke me up at 7:15am and I had to be out the door by 7:30am, but obviously I wasn't alright. I was a walking disaster. I called my dad and pleaded with him to get Ari and take him downstairs so I could throw some pants on and run out the door to work. I know that a complete outfit includes more than pants, but all I could think about was putting my pants on. My dad refused to come upstairs, saying that it was "my fault" that I over slept. But Ari overslept! He was the one who woke up at 7:15am. Maybe I shouldn't be relying on my son as an alarm clock, but I can't possibly imagine using a real alarm clock. It just seems too horrible to listen to a loud obnoxious buzzing sound in the morning.
Sometimes I just want some help, some understanding for all that I do. I'm not okay today, not remotely. I asked my friend and fellow sub for a hug.
She was rubbing my back and then she said:
"Okay, I'm going let you go now..." Clearly I am starved for care. I want someone to mother ME! I'm doing all the mothering and I feel entirely exhausted.
Can someone please rub my back, play with my hair and tell me that everything is going to be okay?
I totally would have taken him for you if I were there. It'll be ok. :)
ReplyDelete:( I hear you...just because we're mothers, doesn't mean we don't need someone to take care of us soemtimes.
ReplyDeleteThanks Keyona! That's so sweet! You get what it's like. I wish more people understand what us mamas go through!
ReplyDeleteSarah, we do need care. We are doing the majority of the caring and thus we end up uncared for.
I"m also so sorry you felt so bad today and hope you are feeling better...gratitude lists sometimes help : ari, writing, teaching, blogging, friendships, family, health, Brooklyn, organic food, organic cookies, art, botanic gardens, trips to rockaway, music, singing, child development, mint/mike, donna, baby sitters, computers, cell phones, vacations, vampire novels, parenting books and bloggers, ari, recognition for you writing, creative blogging ideas, funny blogging friends, a sense of humor. etc.
ReplyDeleteOh yes and ARI!
ReplyDeleteI can't even think how many times I've wished someone would mother me occasionally! My 5yo is not bad at the playing with hair thing though...lol
ReplyDeleteMom-That almost made me cry! Thank you! I love all those things. What awesome suggestions!
ReplyDeleteLaurie- I love when kindergarten age kids play with my hair! That is one of the most empathetic ages. They are so loving.
If I could rub your back and play with your hair right now I totally would, you know that right? *winks*
ReplyDeleteBut everything is going to be okay, Sarah! xoxo
Awww! Thanks Sarcastica, girl! I know you would ;p
ReplyDeleteI needed to hear that!
You are going to be OK.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I am not about to move on to a commune, I really do think that mothers need MUCH more support than we get in our culture. Living the way that we do is isolating and HARD.
If you get to the point that I did, where hearing Mr. Rogers say I am special just the way I am reduced me to sobs, you probably need more than a hug and a good night's sleep.
ReplyDeleteUnless you're there, KNOW that you are doing a WONDERFUL job as a mom, Ari is lucky to have you, and that I'm sending you armfuls of virtual hugs, a cup of your favorite hot beverage, and a boatload of respect for doing the toughest job on the planet.
Trece