These two ladies are the wonderful children of our friends, Cordy and Chaim.
There were lots of kisses and hugs involved (Ari, my son, kissing Zalah, Zalah kissing Ari, Zalah kissing Lyla and so forth)
Cordy and I used to joke that Zalah had the terrible "one's." She went through an intense period of separation anxiety and was screaming "Mama!!" constantly. At 2 years old, she is actually pretty laid back. It's Ari who is going through separation anxiety now.
What was really interesting, is that Ari started to copy Zalah's words. Zalah has become quite verbose at 2 years of age. Meanwhile, Ari still has his standard words, "bye bye," "mama" "dada" "what's that?" (which sounds more like "wuzzz dat?") and a few others.
Ari tried to steal Zalah's sippy cup. Zalah took her property back and said:
"MINE!"
Soon afterward, he was running around the apartment grabbing his toys and shouting "MY!!!!" Not quite "mine" but close enough in his own language.
It's fascinating how kids pick up on other kid's language.
Now, my son is not a great sharer. In fact, he is awful at sharing. He wants all his toys to himself and gets really upset when even I try to take one away from him. But now he is privy to the word "mine!"
I want to teach him how to share, but I'm not sure how to do it. I've tried explaining to him that though the toy is, his he has to share it. However, he doesn't seem to grasp the concept.
Any ideas, fellow parents?
I think repition and modeling is the only thing that really works.
ReplyDeleteNot having siblings and suddenly someone wants to take your toys - he must think 'huh!?!'
I would agree with that. How is YC doing with the sharing?
ReplyDeleteAww cute! It's funny, when I worked at a daycare we used to try and say words over and over to the kids so they could learn but it wasn't until they heard a fellow child say it that they'd repeat it.
ReplyDeleteYou forgot to mention Zalah let Ari have her cup even when she wanted it for herself like on three different occasions and though she says "mine" I tell her things are not hers and she's a pretty good at sharing in general.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about Ari's words though. Like I said, they learn more and more every day from this point on! He has a great vocabulary already, and recognized those pictures in his word book!
Cordy! Zalah is so well behaved it's ridiculous. She said mine very few times, but Ari picked up on it, you know kids.
ReplyDeleteI wasn't making a judgement call on HER sharing. I was saying that ARI has the PROBLEM!!!
In fact, Zalah is awesome at sharing. She kept giving Ari her sippy cup and saying "share."
He's not actually old enough to really grasp the entirety of sharing yet. It's a developmental thing remember? Please don't worry about it yet. He can't really get it and it isn't really fair to expect him to.
ReplyDeleteI know, I know! It's just frustrating. What am I supposed to do when he steals things?
ReplyDeleteYea it is early still. No I know you were saying that, you worded it well. I just wanted to add that. Remember how he wouldn't eat until Zalah did with him? So he does pick up on things including the good! So you asked how to get him to share, and although he is still young (Zalah isn't perfect at it yet either!) seeing it obviously is helping! So that's another reason why I said that.
ReplyDeleteAlso I think that with Z, we had to do it CONSTANTLY. Nothing is perfect, but the repetition helps, and I always try take a window when I can. That goes for positive reinforcement, sharing, saying thank you, showing love etc. It will happen, it just takes a LOT of repetition and patience! (I have like, very little patience btw!)
"Towards the end of their second year, children develop the capacity to understand about others’ feelings and sharing, but it’s important not to be too hard on your tot if he struggles with getting to grips with these ideas. Toddlers start learning to share from about age two and most get the idea by about age four. "
ReplyDeletefrom a yourfamily.org.uk article because I don't feel like digging out my textbooks right now - but they say the same thing. - and yeah what Cordy said. Playing with older kids that are already sharing is good exp if he sees them being praised for the behaviour.
You don't nec. have to make him share his own toys yet but of course its not okay to take others - you just take it away "not for Ari" or however you say it - and again whatever Cordy says cause it seems to be working!
Zalah just reminded me of something else. Remember how you wanted Ari to start helping around the house? Well give him things to bring to daddy and when he gets good at that you can give him a snack and tell him to give one to his friend he's playing with at the time. Now Z asks for another of something (sometimes) because I usually tell her to bring one to Lyla too! lol.
ReplyDeleteOooh! Good idea, Cords.
ReplyDeleteMinty- Thanks! I know sharing does take a while. I guess repetition and playing with older kids is the answer.
We all go through this, both as kids ourselves and then later as parents. Most people getover it. There are very few true sociopaths in the world.
ReplyDeleteJack-- You're right It's so weird, because I know we all go through it, but it is frustrating and annoying. I feel like until I can reason with him, I will continue to feel the same way.
ReplyDeleteAlso it should be noted that Ari can be great at clean up. I also try to meditate with Z when she has a meltdown. Today she actually closed her eyes and breathed in! I was like "Do you feel better now?" to which she replied "No!" Haha! O well.
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha!!!!!!! That's so funny! She is so beyond her years, I swear!
ReplyDeleteHaha I knew when I read the title "Mine" it would involve Zalah!! :p
ReplyDeleteShe did say it, but she was the better sharer of the bunch honestly. She actually looked at Ari's sippy cup (that had chocolate milk in it) and asked "share?" It was really cute!
ReplyDelete