I was talking to my great friend and fellow mama (she has two girls under the age of 2 G-d bless her) Cordy about the high stress life of motherhood. When the kids are screaming and you are trying to do 18 things at once, you take a split second to ask someone, maybe your husband/boyfriend/partner or a family member for help and they say:
"Give me a minute..." or "I'll be there in five minutes," or "Hold on a sec..."
When any of these things are said to me, and I actually legitimately need help because my stroller is going to topple over or I am danger of dropping my kid because I am holding too many other items, I want to FLIP OUT on the person. I don't care WHO they are, they are not helping in the moment and that is unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.
I suppose in the case of relatives who do not have children of a toddler age, it can be difficult to understand that there is no "hold on a sec," in the world of toddler. But still, give me a break and help me in the moment. Not five or ten minutes later, because my son is not on your time table.
The point is, when someone with a small child asks for assistance, don't placate them with a time limit. Just help them.
"Give me a minute..." or "I'll be there in five minutes," or "Hold on a sec..."
When any of these things are said to me, and I actually legitimately need help because my stroller is going to topple over or I am danger of dropping my kid because I am holding too many other items, I want to FLIP OUT on the person. I don't care WHO they are, they are not helping in the moment and that is unacceptable as far as I'm concerned.
I suppose in the case of relatives who do not have children of a toddler age, it can be difficult to understand that there is no "hold on a sec," in the world of toddler. But still, give me a break and help me in the moment. Not five or ten minutes later, because my son is not on your time table.
The point is, when someone with a small child asks for assistance, don't placate them with a time limit. Just help them.
Chaim always says that I want him to help "on my time." I tell him poop needs to be changed right away and a crying child needs to be consoled when they are upset (or cleared out of my way if you want dinner made!) So its not really MY time at all, but theirs. And he is just as much of a parent as I am.
ReplyDeleteWord! Why don't they GET IT???!
ReplyDeleteWe get it. We just play dumb. Duh! Lol.
ReplyDeleteGuilty. Next time that happens feel free to throw a dirty wipey in my direction. ;)
ReplyDeleteOh, man, this totally grates on me. Or, when I reached my breaking point 20 minutes ago and someone strolls into the kitchen where both kids and I are all crying and asks, all innocent-like, "What?"
ReplyDeleteMotherhood, it's SO glamourous. But, you know, not.
Jack- Ha ha ha ha!
ReplyDeleteDonna- No!!!! You are great!
Amber- I know! It's terrible! I am so glad you understand!
Maybe there could be a cue that this request is an emergency for emergency requests and one for regular requests for help.
ReplyDelete