Friday, December 25, 2009

Curse Word Substitutes

As I sit in the airport waiting to board a plane that is delayed, I am taking the time to write about curse words. Since about the 4th grade, I am ashamed to admit, I have been an avid curse word producer. You name it, it came out of my 10 year old mouth.

One would think that having a child would have stopped my potty mouth, but no, I continue to use these vulgar words on a regular basis.

My sister-in-law uses substitutes for curses. I like this idea. Here are some that I have compiled for general usage. I hope you all can exclaim these to stop yourself from yelling F you!

1. Motther Hubbard!
2. Shut the Front Door!
3. Jimminy Christmas!
4. What the Foo?
5. Fudge!
6. What the Funk?!

If you have more to add post a comment! Or email me at


  1. I totally share your cussing proclivities. Sometimes I forget I'm in the classroom with 20 children and the urge to toss out a cuss word is sometimes overwhelming. My personal fave is:

    duck = *uck
    slammit = *ammit

  2. I used curse substitutes up until I entered public school in 5th grade so I am an expert.

    1. Oh sugar!
    2. Oh shoot!
    3. Oh sister!

    I was also a fan of the "Fudge!" which you already mentioned.
    "Sweet Christmas" is a funny one too a la blaxploitation-era marvel character Power Man.

    4. "screwed up" becomes "messed up"
    5. "stupid" becomes "silly" or "crazy" depending on the situation.
    Mike says "What the "F"?!" which is probably fine for home but maybe not at work.
    I usually just say "What the?!" and leave it at that. Or possibly "What the what?!"

    That's enough for now.

  3. Wow, there are some really good ones here. I sure need help. I learned to repress my curses when you guys were young but am sort of back to it. I say: "what the foo!" or "What the hidalgo" Rosa says "Mother Hubbard" Sh*t is a hard one for me; it just comes out. Sugar just doesn't have the power of the original. Poor Ari.

  4. I always enjoyed your "What the foo!" Love it.

    Also I like when you call people "Nerds" "Jerks" or "Nudnicks"

  5. I was watching a tv show last night and I saw a guy say " Son of a beach ball "

  6. I love "Son of a Beach ball!" That is hilarious!


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