Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Things I've Learned on the Playground Today

1. Many of the Park Slope moms carry business cards.
2. On chance that you've forgotten baby sunscreen, somebody can hook you up with some.
3. Second children appear to be more laid back than first-borns.
4. If there is a sandbox around, someone is probably doing one of the following a) eating sand; b) throwing sand; c) stealing someone else's sand toy.
5. When you're two-three years old, "waiting your turn" is optional.
6. If you have a baby, someone wants to hold him/her and mentions how they want another baby.
7. There appear to be two types of playground moms a) Those that discipline their kids; b) Those who ignore their kids and let them beat the crap out of other kids.
8. Nannies/Babysitters want to make a point that the kid they're watching isn't biologically theirs, however moms want to make the point that the kid they are watching is biologically theirs.
9. The way to exit the playground the most gracefully is through bribery.

What have you learned on the playground?


  1. #7 is so true. Then there are the "where the hell is this kid's mom?" moms (the so-called "invisible" mothers who think the playground can act as a babysitter).

    One thing I learned is that most parents' favorite way to spend their time at the park is on their cell phone, texting or checking their Facebook.

    Oh, and another is that just when you feel you're starting to really bond with one mom and that you *may* just become pals, your kid has a meltdown or begs you to "go" somewhere with them, so you end up never seeing that mom again. Boo.

  2. Yes! The absentee moms that are checking their phones! I abashedly do that sometimes and I hate myself. But yeah! Why the hell aren't those parents telling their kids to "stop it?"

    I also wrote this about the conversation stop/starts:

  3. I think we moms are very hard on ourselves. Checking facebook may be how you keep in touch with your own mother. And "letting" your kids play on the playground while you catch your breath and get some sun and fresh air and yes, a little email time? Yes, it depends on the age but that playground is a real sanity saver for moms of active pre-schoolers.

    A great way I discovered to get kids back in the car is to catch another family leaving. Point at them with a big gesture: "Oh look! EVERYONE is going home now! Let's go home and get some juice! [to the other mom] Are YOU going home to get some juice too? Fun!" worked more often than not.

  4. It's true! We are very hard on ourselves. Oh that is a great idea! I'm going to use that one about watching other parents leave!

  5. OMG - HILARIOUS!!! I'm totally happy to let Theo loose on other kids but then feel that need to LOOK LIKE I CARE. So I half-heartedly pry him off other kids and their toys or whatever! Sandboxes are a nightmare!

  6. So true! And we are hard on ourselves. I love playgrounds and parks.

  7. Harriet- HA HA HA! I love it.

    Julie- Me too!!


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