Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I'm Ordering Online Next Time

"Ari, we're out of wipes. We need to go to Target to get wipes for Samara." I said this morning as Ari was playing with his cars.
"NO! I don't want to go to Target. I need a jacket!" He whined
"It's really hot outside, you don't need a jacket." I said with a sigh.
"I want to watch the new Max & Ruby instead." He countered.
"Okay, I'll get you a car if you go to Target." I said thinking about the dollar bins at Target which are stocked with Matchbox cars.
"I want Toy Story instead." He said.
"I can offer you a car." I say, standing my ground.
"Okay." He said with a sigh.


At Target

As I make my way to the elevators, I pass the women's summer clothes. I do a mental inventory of the clothing I have at home, and realize that I have exactly one summer outfit. I begin impulsively grabbing pairs of shorts and a few shirts that appear to be my size. I feel like I'm on Supermarket Sweep except with clothes as opposed to food. The whole time I am grabbing clothes, Samara is alternating crying with nursing while in the Ergo.

"Cookies mommy! Look! I want cookies!' He says pointing to the chocolate chip cookies at cash register strategically placed for impulse purchasing.
"No cookies!" I say beginning to sweat profusely.
"My car! I want a car!"
Shit! I completely forgot about the car! I accost the next red-shirted employee walking by named "Leonard."
"Excuse me, are there cars down here? You know, at the cash register. There used to be cars down here. I don't see any." I am trying to construct a coherent sentence while sweating, listening to Ari ask repeatedly for a car, and hearing Samara crying loudly.
"Hold on. Let me check for you ma'am." He says with a surprisingly genuine smile. He disappears and arrives back, looking triumphant, holding a small plastic car.
"Thank you!!" I almost yell, wanting to hug him. " You are so awesome. Is there a manager I can tell how awesome you are?"
"Sure! Right over there." He says pointing to a man in a collared red shirt. I commend Leonard to the collar-shirted man.

Samara hasn't stopped crying, so I remove her from the Ergo and hold her on my hip.
"Uh, miss!!" Shouts a stranger "She's throwing up on you!!"
I look down to find spit up all over my tank top.

I'm about to get in line when I remember the whole reason I came to Target! The baby wipes!
I race to the elevator with the kids, get upstairs, grab the wipes. Then get back in the elevator, go downstairs and get back in line.

"I want Goldfish!" Ari proclaims when we get in line. He is pointing to an enormous Costco-sized container of Goldfish.
"Ari, that's way too big to carry home."
The manager I told about Leonard is walking by.
"Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but do you have a smaller thing of Goldfish?"
"Yeah, I think so..." He says. He disappears and materializes with two individual-sized portions of Goldfish. I thank him excessively, Ari busts open one of the containers and digs in.

We manage to make it out of Target alive with 50,000 bags, and I am $80 poorer.

When I get home I realize only two out of the seven clothing items I bought actually fit.

Next time, I'm shopping online. Anyone else there with me?


  1. LOL!!! NO! Don't shop online! It costs extra, you'd need the wipes sooner and it still isn't guaranteed to fit. Get someone to watch the kids! Then you can try the stuff on haha. And not spend the money if you don't need to.

    Welcome to the world of shopping with TWO KIDS!! HELL!! I tell you. Def get a babysitter (aka wil or FaderParents) :)

  2. I agree with The Unorthodox Mom. Get a babysitter if you can, even if you have to toss a a little money at a teenager to get that babysitter. I would rather pay for a babysitter and get uninterrupted shopping than pay for shipping.
    I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like with two kids, even though sometimes between Grace's constant nagging for a toy and Mike's tendency to wander (sometimes he whines for a new toy too) it feels like I am shopping with two kids.
    Maybe if the kids don't come with you on a regular basis they will start to percieve the trip in itself as a reward. I always tell Grace "Just be thankful that you got to come with"
    Hang in there hun, you will figure out what works best for you in time.

  3. I say shop online, but try to stick with places that have free shipping. Free returns? Even better. If you like to shop, paying for a babysitter while you shop is not a bad idea. Since I've had kids, I no longer like to shop. Shopping, even for clothes for me, seems more like an errand and a chore rather than something fun. Paying for a sitter while I do something that is a chore is more than I can handle.


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