Saturday, March 15, 2014

I Guess I Have ADHD

I guess I have ADHD. I hate labels. I don't like stigmas that follow with labels. But the truth is I have it. Yesterday, I was supposed to help my friend Trish with a transcript. I tried to transcribe for hours. Of course it didn't help that my kids were running around being kids during this process. But, that's not really an excuse. You see, one of the advantages of having ADHD is that I can hyper-focus. That means, ironically, I can zoom in on one particular task and the house could possibly be burning down, but I wouldn't notice because I'm writing a novel.

Anyway…I tried to transcribe this audio file for Trish, but I couldn't focus for more than one minute at time. I would go on Facebook, I would write a blog post, I would do anything I possibly could to run away from the work I was supposed to be doing, because it hurt my brain to stay focused on the task. It was painful to me.

What ended up happening was I was late giving her the transcript, and it was incomplete. I felt awful. I told as her much. She was upset with me and justifiably so. She wrote me saying as much. I replied to her email and told her that I had no excuse. I should have focused better. I explained to her that this is a constant issue that I struggle with. I often have trouble managing deadlines and keeping organized.

She called me up and she said:
"Sarah, I've always been straight with you right?"
"Yeah, you have."
"I think this sounds like ADHD. It's going to be difficult for you to hold a job with these symptoms. I'm worried about you."
I felt my throat tighten and I wanted to cry because I knew what she was saying was true. She was being a supportive friend and trying to help. I know, and I have known for some time, that I have ADHD. I have tremendous difficulty focusing. I have trouble with interrupting people and blurting out the first thing that comes into my head. It's embarrassing sometimes. And I feel ashamed. But the people who love me, understand that I'm not doing it on purpose to be rude. It's the way my brain is wired.

There are pros and cons to having ADHD:

  • Hyper-focusing - Pro: I can zoom in on a task and get it done. Con:  I am completely unaware of everything else around me and it could result in me forgetting that I left the stove on. 
  • Multi-tasking - Pro: I'm sure getting a lot of things done right now at the same time! Con: Except I'm not getting the important stuff done, but my cellphone screen is really clean. 
  • Quick Thinker - Pro: I'm sharp and have many creative thoughts at the same time Con- What is going on in my brain? Racing thoughts abound. 
I've decided to try natural supplements to combat my ADHD symptoms. I've had luck with this stuff in the past  But if that doesn't work, I may have to consider medication.

Do you have ADHD? How do you deal with it?

9 comments:

  1. I have ADD inatentive. I found out after I started counciling for anger management about 6 years ago. I'm 58. I'm on medication for depression. I try hard every day to get things done and what a strugle it is as I work at home. Pressure form my customers helps me finish projects (I'm a seamstress) The pressure of being embarrased by not getting things done helps. Then there are those people who are too paitent and have no pressure on me. Needless to say I still have their projects to work on. Negative feedback from my husband and daughter make me feel awful and worthless. My daughter tries to change me and believes I am just rude. I'd like info on how others cope as well.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Matt has ADHD. I still love him even if it drives me nuts that I end up carrying baskets of laundry down the stairs because he can't handle all the instructions and tasks he's supposed to do. Heh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Also I'm pretty sure I have PADHD which is almost the same thing but the issue is children. When my children are asleep or visiting grandparents, I magically have no symptoms.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have issues with racing thoughts. I too can zero in on one task and forget about the rest of the world. But I also get anxiety when I can't get stuff done so that is what pushes me to stay focused because my anxiety leads to depression. Try to use your anxiety to motivate you!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good idea! I should learn from your anxious energy channeling .

    ReplyDelete
  6. This sounds like me. I've been wondering for years if I have ADHD. I have anxiety and depression, which explain where the racing thoughts and lack of focus come from, but I also get hyper-focused. I just started Prozac, so we'll see how that goes. If I can focus more, I'll be happy.


    My husband, Mike, has ADD. You should see the two of us converse.

    ReplyDelete

What do you think? Feel free to agree or disagree, but hateful comments will be deleted.