Saturday, March 8, 2014

I Will Not Apologize For Who I Am

I had an epiphany this morning. My entire life I've been overly concerned about what other people think of me. Do they like me? Am I a nice person? Those are the thoughts that continually flow through my mind. It can be overwhelming sometimes to constantly want to be liked and validated by other people.

I am, however, reaching a point in my life where I'm beginning to feel differently about myself in relation to other people.

There have been many occasions in my 34 years on this planet where I've apologized to people. I often feel like I'm apologizing.

"I'm sorry your feelings are hurt."
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"I'm sorry *insert reason here."

However, I'm becoming exhausted from the idea that most things are my fault, because they're actually not. I don't need to apologize for everything.

Yes, there are genuine occasions where someone's feelings do get hurt and that warrants an apology. But what about my feelings? I don't want to forgot those too. For years, I've prioritized other people's feelings over my own. I'm done with that.

I will apologize for an action I've done that has hurt or angered a person I care about, however, I will not apologize for who I am. 

There's a huge distinction here. You can be remorseful for hurting someone's feelings, but don't take that personally. Do not infer that there's something wrong with you or your character because another person is offended by your words or actions.

We all offend each other. It's the nature of being human. But let's celebrate the fact that we're different. We're unique.

I felt so strongly about my realization, that I created a tee-shirt. Are you with me?

I will not apologize for who I am, which you can buy here if you want. 


  1. Great post! So very true. I often place the blame on myself. Even if I've got nothing to do with it.

  2. Exactly. I always blame myself. It's my default action. But it's inaccurate.

  3. I too care way too much about what others think. I'm better than I used to be for sure, but there's still work to be done. I find that this comes out most not so much in my every day life but when I'm blogging. Or rather *trying* to blog. Sometimes I'd like to be a little more open about my life/parenting experiences but then I don't want people to think I am ungrateful or a huge bitch. This leads to few posts and posts that take for-friggin-EVER to write because I am being so overly paranoid.

  4. It can be intimidating to be completely honest online. I hear that. But it's also liberating too. It's a hard balance.


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