I Feel Like I Just Had Her

It feels like I just gave birth to Samara, but in reality, it's been nearly 10 months! Samara will be one on January 22nd, 2012. Aunt Mimi just got a new cell phone, and so she purged all her old cell phone pictures into an online album on Google Plus, which she shared with me. I stole these gems from that album:

Aunt Mimi, Samara, and I

Samara at Birth: She Looks Like Ari!

Olivia (my amazing friend and doula), and Samara Olivia

Me Nursing Samara

Aunt Mimi and Samara

Aunt Mimi, thank you for purging your cell phone. Sorry I stole the pictures, but they were too awesome to pass up!

A TCM Perspective On a 3 Year-Old's Anxiety

Yesterday, I took Ari to see my acupuncturist. I was at the acupuncture clinic the other day, and I saw a sign that said "Pediatric Shift, Thursdays." So I thought, what the hell? I made an appointment for him, thinking that acupuncture might help with his insomnia, which he still has, and with his level of anxiety, which seems to be high.

I don't have any pictures of the session, because during the appointment I was much more concerned with keeping Ari calm than photographing him.

When we got to the clinic, Ari was asleep. He had been to art class that morning, and he was worn out. Ironically, the reason we were going for acupuncture was for sleep issues, and here he was zonked out!

I strolled him into the exam room, and Samara and I (the awake ones) met his practitioners, Heather and Rachel. Heather, Rachel and I discussed Ari's sleep issues, he's been crawling out of the crib since 18 months of age, he hates going to sleep at night, whether or not he naps during the day he still goes to sleep and 10pm. They were really nice, and to make Ari feel more comfortable, they removed their white lab coats for when he decided to wake up. Meanwhile, Samara was playing with a metallic space blanket on the floor.

When Ari came to, Heather gave him some paper and highlighters to draw with. Samara continued to try to destroy the space blanket with no success.

Heather and Rachel attempted to get Ari to show them his tongue, for examination, but he adamantly refused and closed his eyes, pretending to go back to sleep while holding the paper and highlighters.

Then, Melanie, the supervisor came in. She was able to convince him to stick his tongue out. She said, based on his tongue coat and color, that he had a lot of heat in his body, and his digestion was aggravated. From examining him, she determined that his diet needed to change.

This was further confirmed when I told her that his diet consists primarily of peanut butter and honey sandwiches and chocolate milk. Granted the bread is whole grain and organic, and the peanut butter are also organic, but still, it's not the most nutritious meal on the planet. After his exam, Melanie said the following:

"You know what you can do? Get some beef bones and boil them for 24 hours in a soup, give him a cup of broth every day, for a week. And sneak vegetables into every meal you can. Make cookies and hide nutritious things in them! He needs to get away from eating all this starch. It's making him more anxious. Change his diet, and I guarantee you'll see a big change in his behavior. Also, give him omega 3's, like cod liver oil, daily. It will help his mood, and his dry skin."

While she was giving me nutritional advice, Melanie massaged Ari's legs and feet hitting various acupressure points for digestion and anxiety.

She decided that since it was his first session, she would skip the needling for today. We may revisit acupuncture points with needles next session.

In the mean time, I'm trying Melanie's dietary suggestions, and hoping for the best. The Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective is very different from what the pediatrician recommends for sleep problems. TCM looks at the overall picture of health, rather than attributing sleep issues to behavioral problems.

Have you ever taken your kid to see an acupuncturist? Would you?

I Did Something Awesome Today

Today, I had a play date with a friend of mine, Holly. She has two kids and, like me, no brain. I asked her a zillion questions about how she manages life with the two. One crucial one was:

"When do you find the time to clean?"

For those of you who know me, and/or love me, you understand that cleaning is not something that comes naturally to me. In fact, I am a terrible cleaner. Yes, I do the dishes, and occasionally sweep, but it is my amazing husband who is the cleaner of the family. Before we were married I used to call him my "house boyfriend," because he is so domestically inclined that way. You can see his handy work here, if you're interested.

I, on the other hand, am not a cleaner. I would rather blog, read a book, walk in the park, take a shower, basically do anything so that I don't have to clean.

Samara has the right idea:

I was actually crying on the phone, the other day, to my friend Adriana about how overwhelmed my dirty house makes me.

Holly's response to my "when you clean?" question was:

"I don't. Well, honestly, here's what I do. I have a play date at least once a week, so that forces me to clean. If I know people are coming to my house, I have to clean. Because otherwise, I'd be embarrassed."

This really inspired me, it made so much sense! Having people over on a regular basis is the perfect motivation to clean! Something clicked in my head. And I went home right after the play date and did this:

I was so proud of myself. This really made me feel accomplished.

This is my next task.

Wish me luck! And please feel free to tell me how awesome I am for cleaning my living room. I need all the encouragement I can get!

When do you find time to clean with kids?

Give Him a Job

Lately, Ari and I have been engaged in a full on power struggle. It's like he's 16 instead of three. If he doesn't get what he wants, he does one of the following things:

• Screams and/or writhes on the floor
• Runs into his room and slams the door.
• Repeats what he wants in various different ways, using a variety of sentence structures, sometimes even pantomiming what it is that he wants.

We've been butting heads, and by the end of the day, we're both exhausted from arguing.

I've been talking to anyone who will listen about his behavior (and mine for that matter) to get insight, and advice. And I've gotten some really good advice about it.

One friend of mine, Danyel, said:

"Telling him 'no' and 'don't do that' over and over again is going to make him want to do whatever he's doing more. Let him fall on his face, so to speak. He needs to learn through experience. I know, I grew up with four brothers."

Let me be clear, she didn't mean "don't tell him 'no' at all." There are many circumstances in which children need to be told no, especially if they are doing something that is dangerous to themselves or others. She meant that there are some times when kids need to learn through experience.

Then it dawned on me, part of this is a discipline issue, but part of the reason he's acting out is that he's bored. I've noticed that he acts out when there is nothing particularly exciting happening in the house. He does something mischievous when I am occupied, nursing, changing Samara, cooking dinner or going to the bathroom.

And then I remembered a trick I used to use in subbing. When there was a particularly high energy kid, a kid who happened to get bored easily, but was very bright, often times (I'm not making a gender generalization however) this child tended to be a boy, I would make the kid in question my right hand man. I would give him a job. It made him feel very important. Let's pretend this child's name was Mark.

"Mark, can you stack those chairs for me? That's great! Thanks. Mark, can you help me pass out these crayons? Awesome!"

I realized that it was about time that Ari became my right hand man. He needed structure, fast.

I was making pancakes yesterday.

Ari said:

"I want to help you." I thought, great! Here's my chance.

"Okay, can you put the flour in the bowl?"

"Sure!" He exclaimed with glee.

"Can you pour the milk in the bowl too?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed.

Normally, while I was making pancakes, Ari would be in the other room, potentially destroying something. But that day, he really did help me.

I'm going to continue giving him jobs. It seems to be helping.

How about you? Do you give your kids jobs?

Grandmas Day Out: Ari and Nelson Go to The Transit Museum

Until yesterday, Ari had never been to The NYC Transit Museum. This is curious, considering the fact that this kid is utterly obsessed with all vehicles, especially trains.

On Thursday, my mom graciously offered to hang out with him, because I had a ton of transcription to do and a yucky cold on top of that. Things didn't exactly go as planned at first. The initial idea was to park the car near our place, and the kids and the Grandmas would take the subway to The Transit Museum.

My mom picked up Nelson and his Grandma and came back to our place to park the car, but there was no parking to be found! So I dropped up Ari with my mom, and Samara and I ran out in our pajamas to find parking. Mom, if you're reading this, sorry if I was cranky yesterday, I was just really congested!

But alas, there was no parking for us either, so we ended up going to Blue Sky for a shared muffin, in the interim, and then to Staples because I needed to scan something, buy a flash drive, and most importantly because I love office supplies.

But this is not about alternate side of the street parking, Staples, muffins or Samara. This is about trains and buses.

While I was running around Staples, the Grandmas set out on their adventure with the boys. There are no pictures of the Grandmas themselves, because the Grandmas were taking the pictures.

The MTA must have known they were coming...

They had to take the train to go see the trains!

We know how much Ari loves the bus. Remember this?

He really loves the bus...

a lot...

After the museum, the Grandmas and the boys went out for pizza and ice cream.

Thank you mom! You are the best mom and Grandma in the world. Thanks for taking Ari out for the whole day. He told me he had a blast!

And I think your new glasses rock!

The Winner of The Simple Wishes Pumping Bra is...

Congratulations Amanda! You won a Simple Wishes Pumping Bra, in the Pump it Up in Style Giveaway here on OS/NS Mom!

Now you can be as cool as her:

Thank you so much to Simple Wishes for allowing me to host this giveaway! Your pumping bra is awesome!

Happy Halloween Parte Dos- The Making of a Robot

Making a robot is hard work. You have to start some place.

Sometimes, when making a robot, one gets carried away.

And there is a point, in the artistic process, when you need an objective eye to see things clearly.

In art, there isn't always a plan.

But when inspiration strikes, it hits hard.

During the creative process, don't be alarmed if your audience gets restless.

In the end, your creative efforts will be rewarded...

With candy!