Ari Meets Ari From Duane Reade!

Today something exciting occurred: Ari met Ari from Duane Reade! My doctor's appointment happened to be in Ari From Duane Reade's neck of the woods. My mom, Ari and I stopped by DR to pick up a prescription. Guess what little Ari found first:

Then Duane Reade Ari stopped by to say hello!

Duane Reade Ari noted that little Ari was excellent at sorting the cars by color! He seemed to avoid all the brightly colored cars, for some reason, and separated the black limos, trucks and police cars into a giant pile. Maybe these were the cars he wanted to take home?

Duane Reade Ari and little Ari exchanged greetings and then my mom and I scrambled to put all the sorted cars back on display before we headed back to Brooklyn. Little Ari managed to convince us to purchase these two beauties before we left:

Epilogue: My Doctor Explains What Happened To Me

Now I have an explanation for what happened to me yesterday. My doctor tells me that after the rubber band procedure, where my hemorrhoid died and fell off, there was a scab remaining. Usually (in the majority of these surgeries) the scab heals and you never hear from that hemorrhoid again. However, in 3% of these surgeries, the scab falls off and there is a rupture of sorts. This is what happened to me. That being said, if you get your hemorrhoid removed, let's hope that you are not in this 3 %!

My Alpha Hemorrhoid Strikes Back With A Vengance (Not For the Faint Hearted)

This morning I went to the bathroom and stood up to find that the toilet was filled entirely with blood.

After this occurred exactly seven more times, it was clear to me that something was very wrong. I suspected my alpha hemorrhoid had something to do with this mess, but I couldn't be sure.

All of a sudden I felt sweaty, nauseated and unable to move from the couch. Thankfully I was at my parent's place at the time. My protective maternal instinct kicked in. I motioned to Ari and exclaimed to my mom:
"Get him out of here!" She rushed my little guy out of the room.

Then I vomited on my favorite hoody and jeans, which made me very sad. After expending all this energy on bodily functions, I could not rise from the couch and I knew something was, in fact, very wrong with me. Before I realized what I was saying I'd already called out to my mom:
"Call 911!"
"Okay, okay!" My mom said in a state of shock.

The ambulance arrived, and there were three surprisingly friendly EMS workers in my parent's apartment. As she administered an oxygen mask to my face while I was lying on the couch, Samantha (one of the EMS workers) commented on how cute my parent's cats were and said that she had five of her own.

Samantha, Guermo, and Ryan (who I kept calling "Adam" because I was so out of it) navigated the stretcher they placed me on through the narrow hallways of my parent's garden apartment.

On the ride to the hospital, my mom warned these unsuspecting EMS workers that they might end up on my blog.

I've said many times how much I love the Emergency Room, and by "love" I mean "hate with the fire of a thousand suns!" Oddly enough, this time the ER wasn't so bad. Here are the reasons why this visit to the ER was borderline pleasant!

1. An extremely competent Physician's Assistant named Florence. She complimented me on knowing when to call 911. I said: "I'm a child of the 80's, when you see something say something!" She replied "I'm a child of the 50's, just stay home and die!"
2. A kind Nurse Tech named Sheldon who put on my hospital socks FOR me. They were fancy and turquoise! I stole them, naturally.
3. I got to take a 20 minute nap while I was waiting for my blood work results!
4. A hospital volunteer came to my room and asked if there was anything he could do to make my stay more comfortable. He wondered aloud if I might like a pillow? I exclaimed "Yes!"
5. Nurse Gabrielle, who continued to help me even when she "wasn't my nurse anymore."
6. I didn't have to stay overnight! And I got home at a reasonable hour: 4:30pm!

It truly makes a difference to have pleasant helpful folks around you when you think that you may have something horribly wrong with you.

Have you ever had a pleasant ER experience?

The Survival Guide For Rookie Moms: An Interview With Lorraine Regel and Erica Wells

Through the land of Twitter, I was introduced to Lorraine Regel and Erica Wells, authors of The Survival Guide For Rookie Moms. I immediately loved the title of their book as well as logo for the guide:


I wanted to know more about The Survival Guide For Rookie Moms and the authors, who are from one of my favorite countries. Yes, you guessed it, Canada! Lorraine and Erica gladly agreed to answer some questions about their upcoming book.



1. Lorraine and Erica, tell us about yourselves!

We are both mothers of boys age 2 and girls age 5. Our kids are our pride and joy and were truly the inspiration for our upcoming book. The stories that you will read throughout the book are driven from our own experiences….the good, bad and the ugly.

2. How did you two meet?

Lorraine: Erica worked with my husband at a telecommunications company in Vancouver and I eventually began working there as well. Erica’s husband also works there so we were destined to all meet and become friends. As we were new to Canada Erica was kind enough to take us under her wing and welcome us into her extensive social circle where we made many great Canadian friends. Erica and I clicked instantly and had so much in common so our friendship flourished even after we both left the company. By pure lucky coincidence we both became pregnant with our little girls within 3 months of each other and when the girls were about a year old we decided to embark on this project of writing a parenting book together.

3. What is The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms?

Our book does what many other parenting resources avoid like the plague: it gives the frank facts about the first year of motherhood and doesn’t gloss over the gory details. Our chapters are divided by body part rather than chronology – because babies follow their own timetable. It’s an informative yet humorous and fun guide which focuses on both mother and child when it comes to development and well-being in the first year of motherhood.

4. What shocked you the most about motherhood?

Erica: How hard it was! I did a lot of research on becoming a mother and of course read a ton about the ins and outs of becoming a mom….but, nothing can really prepare you for the way a baby will change every aspect of your life…..in a wonderful way of course, but difficult all the same.

5. Do you love Canada?

Erica: I love Canada! I am Canadian and absolutely love my homeland. Especially during the 2010 Winter Olympic Games….Go Canada Go!!!

Lorraine: I was born in England and decided to move to Vancouver in 1999 for maybe a couple of years, but it was such a beautiful, fantastic place to live that 10 years and 2 kids later we were still there. I would have stayed, but the pull of family when you have two small children is just too great, so we made the decision to move back to England last June. I miss my Canadian friends and the lifestyle we enjoyed in Vancouver. Watching the Olympics on TV brought a tear to my eye.

6. What do you want moms to take away from your book?

We want moms-to-be to feel prepared for motherhood – we tell them all the things no one ever tells you. Our book is truthful which means we’re also uncovering the less pleasant parenting moments, but we want moms to laugh while they read about all the wonderful, scary and life altering experiences ahead. We hope new moms will view our book as a friend they turn to for advice.

7. When is your book coming out? Where can we buy it?

Our book will be in bookstores across Canada and the US from April 15th, perfect timing for people looking a first Mothers’ Day gift for a new mom or mom-to-be. It’s already available for pre-order online at Amazon.com, Amazon.ca and ChaptersIndigo.ca. If you know anyone about to have a baby don’t forget, The Survival Guide for Rookie Moms is the perfect baby shower gift!

To learn more about The Survival Guide For Rookie Moms click on the logo below!

The Stove Timer Helps a Toddler TV Addict

Recently, though I am ashamed to admit it, my son has become a television addict. Don't be alarmed, he's not watching Law and Order SVU or anything like that. He's into two shows in particular: Blue's Clues and Yo Gabba Gabba, which he calls "Cuckoo's!" and "Bugga Bugga," respectively.

Today I tried an experiment. At the suggestion of my sister-in-law, Rosa, I set the timer on the stove for thirty minutes.



I can't even show him the picture above because he will go bonkers.

Anyway, as tempting as it is to let him watch just "one more episode," I had to draw the line somewhere. After one episode of Blue's Clues, the timer hadn't gone off yet, so I let him replay the episode for the remaining 8 minutes we had left on the stove timer.

When the timer beeped, I shut the TV off. All hell broke loose. If you looked up the word "tantrum" in the dictionary, along with the definition, you might see this:

It was intense. I decided to try to ignore the tantrum. I said to Ari:
"I'll be back when you're done." As I left the room he was screaming "Cuckoo's! Cuckoo's!!!!" Demanding to watch Blue's Clues.

I waited an unbearable two minutes listening to him screaming in the next room. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I re-entered the living room with him still screaming. After several futile attempts to get him to draw with me, he eventually accepted my offer of a glass of orange juice. Meanwhile I created several masterpieces by my lonesome:



He drank the orange juice quickly, because he was terribly thirsty from screaming, I would imagine. Then he began to scream some more "Cuckoo's!!!"

I was running out of ideas, and needed a solution before my head exploded. I was ready to throw in the proverbial television towel and turn on another episode of "Cuckoo's." But I didn't.

I don't know what came over me but I found a ball, and ran down our abnormally long hallway with it. To my surprise, my screaming child stopped screaming and started LAUGHING. Then he followed me! And we started to play ball!

I couldn't believe it. He forgot all about his precious Blue's Clues! We played ball, I tickled him, turned him upside bunch of times, we drew, and it was all okay! Wow, I'm tired.

My Cat is a Better Parent Than I Am

This evening, Ari was doing his regular routine of thwarting bedtime. Wilhelm and I tried to sing to him, rub his back, but he just screamed and kvetched and he was not willing to go to sleep.

Wil left the room to let Ari and I have some mommy and son time. Unfortunately, my child continued to scream.

All of a sudden, Uncle Egreck (my cat) jumped up onto the bed to see what was going on.

In desperation, I pointed to Egreck and said:
"Look Ari! Look who it is! Kitty!"
Ari stopped crying, crawled over to Uncle Egreck, curled up next to him and fell asleep.


As soon as Ari was asleep, Uncle Egreck relocated to another section of the bed as if to say:
"My work is done here."
Clearly, my cat is a better parent than I am.

Working to Live, or Living to Work

When I started subbing for the NYC Department of Education, I was working a day here and there. It was the optimal situation for me and my family.

Gradually, as I found a school I clicked with, I began subbing more and more. This was great at first, I was making decent money and able to pay the bills.

However, recently I've been working between three and four days a week.

When I get home I am excited to see my son, but it is hard to have the energy to converse with a toddler when you've spent the day with 25 wily 7 year olds!



I don't know how full time teachers who have children do it! My great friend Josina has a full time job teaching history at a prestigious high school, and then returns home to her husband and energetic 2 year old ( I am jumping the gun, he will be two in March).

The point is, working in any capacity and being a mother is hard! You are doing two very real very hard jobs, both of which are rewarding and exhausting all at once!

What about you? Are you working and mothering at the same time? Are you staying home? What's your story?