The Real Meaning of Names

There are a lot of name books on the market. But you don't need to purchase any of them, because I am about to reveal the true meaning of men's names. These are individuals you have undoubtedly met in real life. Ready? Here goes:

David - Davids are know-it-alls. If you are named David, you know absolutely everything about everything and you are an incredibly irritating person. There is a 50 percent chance that you are an asshole.
Justin- If your name is Justin, chances are you are unnecessarily attractive.
Jordan- Have you met Justin? Oh that's right, you're the exact same person!
Jason- Jasons tend to be hot but are also really fun to hang out with. They also love sports.
Arthur- I'm sorry!
Daniel- Daniels are geeks but they're generally harmless. Chances of being an asshole average around 10 percent
Mike- You can pretty much talk to Mike about anything.
Michael- Stop taking yourself so seriously and call yourself Mike. What the fuck is wrong with you?
Carl- People are actually named Carl? I thought that name just existed in Gary Larson cartoons!
Simon- You're probably British. If you're not British you are smart! But not the British kind of smart. I mean intelligent. Also you have a middle name.
Kevin- You are either a harmless meathead or just a nice guy.
Andrew- You're probably weird but I still like you. Unless you go by Drew. In that case we have problems.
Chris- If you're attractive and you know it clap your hands! You want everyone else to applaud too.
Matt - Matt meet sarcasm. Oh right, never mind you two are best friends!
Brian - I like you!
Bryan- I do not trust you whatsoever.
Robert- Who the fuck do you think you're fooling?
Bob- That's more like it.

I hope you've enjoyed my psychological name profiling. Now go find Daniel and marry him!