Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Internet Mom Dating

Please note: the names of the characters in this story have been changed so that I can talk about them freely. They are, however, real people that I did meet.

I was at the playground today trying to "pick up" some moms. For those if you that don't know what that means, it means I was trying to make new mom friends, which is a process that is much harder than actual dating.

I met this one mom, we'll call her Angela. Angela had a two year old girl named Wendy and a baby named Grayson. Remember fake names. The minute I saw Angela, I thought "Here's a lady who I could relate to. She has a two year old and a baby who it turned out was five months.

I tried folks. I tried to relate to Angela. But she wanted nothing to do with me. She gave me monosyllabic answers to all the questions I asked her. In fact, the only time she chose to speak to me was when I was engaged in full on conversation with another mom of a two year old girl. Her name was Delia, and she had recently moved to NYC from the south due to her husband's job. She mentioned that she was looking for a two's program for her daughter, Olivia. I told Delia I couldn't afford such a program for Ari.

Immediately, Angela piped in:
"You know, those programs are very competitive. You need to sign up like a year in advance."
Delia was shocked.
"Oh really. Okay." She said looking rather anxious.
Delia and I exchanged emails before she left the playground.

Soon after Delia left, Angela's friend Naomi showed up. Angela could not have been chattier. I managed to intercept the conversation long enough to ascertain that Naomi was from Israel and was moving back there with her sons Ben and Abe. Ben was two and Abe was three months old. Angela and Naomi kept chatting away and it was clear that they had more in common between the two of them than I had with either one of them.

I made the mistake of asking if their babies were the same age. Angela shot me a nasty look like I was the biggest idiot alive and told me that Abe was three months and her baby, Grayson, was five months. Obviously there is a vast difference and I should have recognized it.

I asked these two love birds how they met. This is the best part of the story. They met on none other than Park Slope Parents. Well, I immediately told them about my fabulous experience with PSP. If you don't already know about that and are curious to find out, click here.

They also mentioned that they had joined the mom's group that I tried out and hated because it was filled with women like them. For more on that, click here.

After being ostracized for approximately 45 minutes, I'd had enough. Plus, I needed to move the car-- alternate side parking was calling.

This is just another example of how difficult it is to find mom friends.

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  1. I am ALWAYS an outcast at parks and moms ignore me sometimes. I mean, who wants to talk to the mom with that "thing" on her head? Ugh. If people would stop being such jerks, they'd realize that both you and I are awesome! Were the moms Jewish? You could have had that in common I guess? I heard some moms at the park the other day giving one mom crap about using a certain brand of sunscreen, saying it would cause cancer. How rude!

  2. OMG! That suncreen thing is completely absurd. Yeah people can be sucky. Also, I thought the Jew connection would work! I even asked her about her son's bris! I got nothing. And yes, people should realize that we are amazing. I actually saw this Muslim woman walking with her daughter and pushing a baby in a stroller. I thought of you! I thought: 1. I wish Amanda lived here, and 2. I could totally see her with two kiddies!

  3. yeah, I had that in my old hood. so glad I moved.

    plus, I totally thought I Ari sitting in a resturant yesterday. but it wasn't him, though the kid looked like a younger version of him. and his parents obviously were not you and wil. lol!

  4. HAHAHA! That's so funny! It was Ari's doppelganger!

  5. Well this post makes me feel better. I mean, it sucks that you have experiences like this, but I've chalked up similar experiences to my being the only dad at the park during the day. Now I know that it's just other moms being jerks. ;)

    And yeah, it totally feels like I'm picking someone up. "So, uh, come to this park often?" I always feel like I need to have my wedding ring on full display. "Pardon me while I scratch my face with my left hand, holding my ring finger out. But do go on with what you were saying."

  6. HAHAHAHA! That's hilarious! Also for more on playground "dating" check this post out! http://www.oldschoolnewschoolmom.com/2010/03/playground-speed-dating.html

  7. I was picked up recently at the library (where we met) by a grandmother for her daughter! She was quite insistent that her daughter would like me and insisted on exchanging all sorts of contact info. Still haven't heard...

  8. I hear ya, Sarah! When we first moved here I was so desperate to find mom friends that I started handing out my business card at the mall to any woman with a stroller! The crazy part is one of them actually called me back, invited me to a playgroup and that's how I met all the moms I'm friends with now. Don't be discouraged!

    Wish I still lived there so we could be walking buddies. :)

  9. that happens to me a lot. i just ask a lot of questions to start a convo (cause people like to talk about themselves, no?) but then you just seem like some crazy stalker.....or i end up telling way too much info about myself trying to get the convo going...and again you seem like some crazylady.

  10. Josina- That is too fu nny! Are you sure that wasn't my mother?

    Jill - Aw! I wish you still lived here too. I miss walking with you. Pearl must be talking up a storm. Hey! The business card thing works!

  11. Yes, Sara! I constantly feel crazy and like I'm asking too many questions but then again, how are you supposed to get to know anyone without asking questions? It's so bizarre.

  12. It can be so hard to make friends sometimes. We use to go to this playgroup and it took months before I made a friend :(

  13. Julie, I totally know. It is doubly hard to make new friends once you have kids!

  14. I SO hear ya. Especially cause I'm "young" and most of the moms in the playgroup are older than me and kind of look at me as a child...ya know? It's hard. I did meet one nice girl though!

  15. See now I can relate to you on that. Even though I'm not "young" per say, I'm a "young mom " by the standards of this neighborhood.I'm 30, and most moms that have kids my son's age in this neighborhood are 35 plus. Many of them in their 40's. I feel like a teenage mother compared to them.

  16. Sounds like you need to move to Canada... maybe I've just been lucky, but I'd say 99% of the parents I've met on the playground and in parent groups have been absolutely lovely.

  17. Yeah. That sounds about right. I want to move to Vancouver B,C!


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