Are You Kidding? Shiitake Mushroom Rash!

I'm used to having strange ailments, but this one belongs at the top of the list of "Weird things that have happened to me."

Yesterday the kids had already eaten dinner, so I made myself an exotic dinner consisting of catfish and mushrooms with soy sauce, canola oil and garlic. I thought I was so creative.

Later that evening, I noticed a strange rash on my stomach. A while later, the rash spread to my neck. 

I ignored the rash, thinking it was just a reaction to a new laundry detergent. 

However, the next day the rash had spread to my legs and back. 

Naturally, I did what you should NOT do under any circumstances; I consulted the internet. The internet thought it might be scabies, or perhaps shingles. Either way, it wasn't looking good for me.

I even had my soul sister Donna researching what on earth this rash could be. I was texting her pictures like this one:

I thought I'd better make an appointment to see my dermatologist. 

Today, I went to the dermatologist. My mom came along for moral support.

The medical assistant asked me a series of questions. One of them was: 

Did you eat anything unusual?

Well, I had some shiitake mushrooms. I've never eaten those before.

My dermatologist entered the room, took one look at my rash and smiled.

"This is a classic textbook case of flagellate dermatitis! It's incredibly rare and it's only caused by two things, one of them is shiitake mushrooms! Would you mind if I took some pictures of your rash for teaching purposes?"

"Go for it!" I said without hesitation. 

 "I almost want to quiz my residents to see if they know what this is." She said with a smirk.

"Why not? Send them in!" I proclaimed.

So the residents piled into the exam room asking me questions to try to figure out what caused the rash.

*This picture was taken by Elizabeth Fader while she was laughing hysterically and saying "only you!"

Here's what they were looking at up close:

Well, that was fun! If I see a shiitake mushroom in a dark alley, I'm running the other direction. 

Oh Sure! Come Over! Excuse Me While I Have A Panic Attack

I did it.
I invited Ari's friend from school over to my house.
But wait! That's the end of the story.
It began like this:
On Friday, we were leaving school.
Ari had been telling me he wanted to have a play date with a girl from his class. I saw the girl's babysitter, who speaks another language. I wrote the babysitter a note that said:

"Hi Little Girl's Mom,
This is Sarah, Ari's mom.
Would you like to come over for a play date at our house?
Here's my number ***-***-****!"

The babysitter smiled politely and took the note.
"I gave a note to your babysitter asking your mommy if you would like to come over to our house!" I said to Ari's friend. "Do you wanna have a play date at our house?" I asked her.

"Yes!" She exclaimed.
Little Girl and Ari laughed and jumped up and down together.

I got a text message the next day:
Hi Sarah,
This is Little Girl's Mom! We would love to come over for a play date. We're busy today, but how about tomorrow?

I sent her a message back.

Sure! Sounds great!

Then it occurred to me that my house was dirty.
 I had a panic attack.
"What are we going to do?!" I moaned to Wil. "Little Girl and her parents are coming over tomorrow and the house is so dirty."
"Don't worry babe!" Wil said "I'll clean."
Wil cleaned the living room and the kitchen, and I cleaned the bathroom.
"They can't come over! Look at the kid's room!" I exclaimed.
The kid's room was a mess. I panicked. Little Girl and her family would think we were slobs! But it was overwhelming! There was so much to clean!

I picked up a toy police truck and put it in the blue fabric bin.
I picked up a green polka dot ball and put in a container.
The more things I picked up, the easier it became, and all of a sudden I was cleaning.
"Ari, pick up all the cards from the floor."
"I don't want to!"
"Do you want Little Girl to come over tomorrow?"
"Yes!"
"Then you have to clean up!"

I kept reminding Ari that his friend was coming over every time he got distracted and (for the most part) he helped me clean. Meanwhile, Samara loomed in the background, took toys out of their bins and threw them on the floor. Thankfully, Ari ran after her  saying "No Samara," confiscated the toys and put them back where they belonged.

The house was clean! I couldn't believe it.
As I was falling asleep that night I thought What are they going to eat?! I thought and thought and then it came to me. Bagels! Everyone likes bagels right?

So first thing in the morning, I hurried the kids into their clothes and out the door. I zoomed the double stroller out the door and into the Bagel store. I got a dozen bagels and cream cheese. We back home with the bagels so I could start a pot of coffee.

Little Girl and her parents arrived. I was relieved. The house looked reasonably clean (and not like a bomb hit it) and there was food to eat!

The kids had a fun play date and I got to have actual adult conversation.

The most important part of this day for me were the events leading up to it. I was anxious about having people come over to my house and see it for the first time. But I pushed through that anxiety, and I took the steps to make a play date happen for my kid.

Do it Now! Take that Procrastination!

I woke up today, and I realized that there were several things that I hadn't done.

1. The dishes

2. Apply Ari for Kindergarten

3. Return "The Life of Pi" to Helen, a teacher that leant it to me two years ago.

I looked at the dishes with dread. It looked like there were five thousand of them sitting there glaring at me. 

But then I stopped. 

I'll just wash one plate. 

This isn't so bad...

I'm going to wash another plate.

Okay, not terrible. 

I'm going to wash all the knives. 

Okay done with that. 

There's only three cups in here. I can take them! 

Fuck it, I'm going to do all the dishes. 

All of them.

I don't want them looking at me anymore. 

So...

I did them. I did all of the dishes.

And when I looked at the empty sink, I felt so much better. I wasn't anxious anymore!

I looked at "The Life of Pi." Helen, a fellow teacher, leant it to me two years ago. She's been asking for it back for months. I have to return it, I thought. I shrugged those thoughts away. I grabbed Samara, plonked her in her car-seat and we drove off to school.

I found Helen's classroom. 

"Look what I have for you!" I said triumphantly.

"Oh I'm more excited about this big girl!"She said with a big smile, gesturing to Samara. 

Here I was agonizing over getting Helen's book back to her, when she was more excited about meeting Samara than seeing her two-year old book. But it was a load off my back, I finally returned her book!

I headed to the office, grabbed the Kindergarten application and filled it out. 

Name, yep.

Address, I know that one too!

Birthday, easy.

This is not so bad. 

I'm doing things! 

I learned something today.

The more I put things off, the more I fear doing them.

When I take an action, I feel better. 

So the next time a sock drops on the floor, and the thought crosses my mind, I pick it up later, I'm going to pick it up right then and there.

The next time I think to myself, I'll just do that dish later...

I'm going to face that dirty plate, wash it and be done with it.

Sometimes it takes an extra minute or two, but anxiety, the worry, the concern about a minor is issue is avoided by dealing with it. 

Take that procrastination! 

I Don't Know If I Handled This Well

"Who took care of you when you were a little girl?"
"Grandma and grandpa?"
"Who took care of grandpa and grandma?"
"Their parents."
"Where are their parents?"
"They died."
"Can they come back?"
"No, they can't."
"But I want them to come back. Am I going to die?"
"Yes. But not for a very, very long time. You're still a little boy and you have a long life ahead of you. Not until you're very old."
"I don't want to get old!"
"Neither do I."
Laughter.
"Where do you go when you die?"
"Well, some people believe you go to heaven."
"Where's heaven?"
"It's up in the clouds."
"But I don't wanna go in the sky!"
"Heaven doesn't have to be in the sky. It could be wherever you want it to be. It's a really happy place that people go after they die."
Pause.
"Some people believe that you come back as another person after you die."
"I want to come back as me."
"Maybe you can."
"I want to come back as me and grow up again."
"Maybe you will."
"Okay. Mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"I don't want to be old."
"I know."
"Mommy?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Sleep.

Citrus Lane Review - A Surprise in a Box!

One day when I was watching my friend Cori's kids, (who are 3 and 1) she gave me a box. It wasn't an ordinary box. It was from Citrus Lane. 

"Here," She said "We get a box every month from this company, and there's always something fun in it."

I opened the box not knowing what I would find. We were presented with a "make your own fruit" project. There were all different fabric fruits including an apple, a pear, and an eggplant. The kids got to decorate their own fruits. They loved the project. 

I decided to write to Citrus Lane and see what kind of box they would send me for review. 

I received a reply from the lovely Jason, over at C.L. He sent me an awesome box which included animal castanets!

Traditionally castanets come in pairs. But I thought it was only fair that each of my kids got their own toy, because I'm fair like that, yo!

The box also came with this super awesome recycled tupperware and bowls, and organic pureed fruit. 

I think the idea of getting a box with surprise toys and fun things every month is exciting, and that's what Citrus Lane gives to parents and their kids ages 0-5. 

Guess what people? I'm about to hook you up.  If you sign up and use the code BREAK10 you'll get 10 percent off your subscription to surprise boxes at Citrus Lane. 

Let me know what you get in your box!

Samara Turns Two and I Embrace Her

Samara turned two on January 22nd. We visited my parents in Florida to celebrate and then Wil's family in Texas.

Samara and I have been fighting a lot lately. She wants to run in the street and I tell her she can't. She wants to stick her hand in the electrical socket and I inform her sternly that that's a terrible idea.

But I realized something about my girl on this trip. Despite her predilection for danger, she just wants to explore and have adventures. She wants to have fun.

She shows me every day that the most mundane things can be made into a fun time. For example, climbing on an airport baggage ramp can be exciting...

Until it starts moving. Then it's time to get to find something else to do. 

I've given up the idea that I can "tame" her wild side. Of course, I have to shield her from danger, but Samara is an adventurer. 

That's just her.

She loves to explore, learn, try, and do.

And I embrace that. 

I will learn from her fearless nature.

Ari Takes The Gifted & Talented Test

I signed Ari up to take the Gifted & Talented test for Kindergarten. The day came for him to take the test. No matter what the results are, I know my son is a bright kid. There's no harm in taking the test to see if he gets into the program.

I didn't prep him beforehand. We didn't go over any study materials. If he gets in, he gets in.

*Please excuse the recycling boxes that need to go outside in this picture.

The day before the test I told him:
"Tomorrow you're going to go to a new school where you'll show the people there all the shapes you know!"
"I don't want to do that." Ari replied.
"Well, afterwards you get ice cream." I said on a whim.
"Okay!" He exclaimed.

The morning of the test it occurred to me that we would need his birth certificate. I asked Wil to open the safe to get it.
"Uh, babe...it's not in here."
"No. That's not possible!" I exclaimed.
"Didn't you take it with you when you registered him for school?" He asked.
"Oh that's right. But I'm sure I put it back in the safe."
But it wasn't in the safe. I was panicking. I decided to take his social security card with us. Surely that would count for something.

Before we entered the school building where he was going to take the test, I told him this:
"Okay, are you ready to show the people all the shapes you know?"
Ari nodded with a big smile. Then we entered the school.

"Name?" Said the woman sitting at a cafeteria lunch table.
I gave her Ari's name.
"Birth certificate?" She asked. Only her eyes looked up from her paper.
My heart sunk.
"Oh, I brought his social security card. Is that enough?"
"No, we need his birth certificate."
"I looked in the safe this morning, and we couldn't find it. Is there any way he can take the test?"
"I'll talk to the supervisor." Said the woman behind the cafeteria table with a slight smile. "We'll see what we can do."
Ari looked on, not knowing what was going on exactly. The woman exited the cafeteria in search of the supervisor.
"Call his doctor's office. Maybe they can fax it over." Said a mother who overheard the conversation.
"Good idea!" I replied. I called the doctor, but since it was Saturday, they had already closed.

After waiting for an excruciating ten minutes, the supervisor emerged.
"He can take the test, but you'll have to scan and email a copy of his birth certificate to us."
"Thank you!"

Ari was sent upstairs with a group of kids, wearing a green post it note with his birthday on it.

I waited.
There were a few parents there waiting for their four-year olds to emerge.
After an hour, one little girl emerged.
The mother and I were talking.
"My oldest, over there playing Angry Birds, has taken the test four times. She hasn't gotten in. She's kind of a space cadet though. My youngest is sharp. She'll get it."
"Excuse me." Said another mother listening in "Did you say that your daughter has taken the test four times? And you're making her take it again? That's abuse!"
"Um, first of all that's my business," began the first mother. "And second of all she wants to take it."
I didn't know what to say, it was such an awkward moment and clearly these women were super competitive.

Ari arrived five minutes later.
"Hi Ari boo! What did you do on the test?"
"Nothing." Ari said looking down.
"Did you play with puzzles?"
He nodded.
I tried to get more information out of him, but all he said was:
"I want ice cream!"

I asked the mothers who lived in the area if there was a good place to get ice cream in the neighborhood. They recommended an Italian gelato joint around the corner.

So we went! I thought I could get more information about the test out of Ari after he had some gelato in his system.

Ari got vanilla gelato and met a cat named Rocco.

Post gelato, Ari revealed that he was interviewed by a woman who kept asking him "where?" and coloring in circles. He also said something about oranges and that he did a puzzle with numbers. That's all he gave up.

I still can't find his birth certificate. If I can't locate it, they won't send us the scores! I need to get a replacement copy as soon as possible.