Biking With a Broom and Strangers That Can't Shut Up

Ari got an early birthday present, his first bike!

When I bought the bike, it had training wheels on it. Since getting the bike, I've been in and out of the bike shop, having the training wheels put on, and then taking them off. I was ambivalent about the training wheel situation, since I've taught kids to ride bikes before by just taking the pedals off the bike entirely.

One of the times that I was in the bike shop having the training wheels taken off, this guy approached me and said:

"You know how I taught my kids to ride a bike? I'm from Sweden, and we bike everywhere. I never bothered with training wheels. I used a broom to hold the bike up. I have four kids and it worked with all of them."

"That's a great idea!" I replied. And with that, Ari and I went to the 99 cents store to buy a broom. The broom ended up being $4.00, which I didn't understand seeing as we were at the "99 cent store" where I believe things should cost 99 cents.

I bought the broom and tried it out. It worked great!

We were having an awesome time, until two guys passed by. One of the guys smiled and looked at our broom/biking experiment.

"Isn't it cool?" I said "It actually works!"

The guy replied:

"Yeah, you know what else works? A belt." And then looked over at my jeans, which were low on my hips.

He and his friend started to laugh. I was dumbfounded.

"Hey!" I shot back "That was really mean!"

That was all I would muster up. I had no witty comeback.

So we went back to biking with the broom. Then the broom snapped in half and broke!

Lesson learned: If you do try the broom/biking combination, I would recommend using a plastic broom as opposed to a wooden one.

Maybe I should stick to training wheels.

Also if a stranger gives you unwelcome wardrobe advice, quickly assess what they're wearing and find a way to make fun of it.

The Day I Tried to Clean Up- A Video

This morning, I decided to try to clean the living room. Here's what happened...in a video:

10 Reasons Why My Period Can Go Fuck Itself

I have my period right now, and I hate it. I've hated it since the moment I first got it at 12 years-old. I'm still in denial about it. Every time it ends, I feel like it's the last time I'll ever see it again. But yet, like an unwelcome ex-boyfriend, it keeps making a regular appearance every month for the past 20 years, minus the two years I was pregnant where it was absent,

thank G-d!

Without further ado, I bring you 10 reasons why my period can go fuck itself.

10. Going anywhere or doing anything seems impossible.

9. I can't zip my jeans.

8. No matter what I do, I have stains on my underwear and potentially my pants, so it looks like I pooped on myself.

7. I look pregnant even though I'm clearly not, hello! I have my period!

6. Whenever anyone says anything to me I want to tell them to fuck off and die.

5. Period products are bullshit. Maxi pads feel like adult diapers, tampons are uncomfortable and leak, and I end up losing the reusable products in the chaos that is my apartment.

I have my period, where the hell is that thing that I paid 20 dollars for that is supposed to save me money?

4. I want to sleep all day, but I can't!

3. I want to eat everything all the time, and I do! Then I feel like a hot air balloon.

2. I can't have sex, which (as we all know) solves most problems in life.

And the number one reason that I hate my period is...

1. It makes me feel totally and utterly insane.

This has been a public service announcement from your mom.

Live Your Life- RIP Karyn Kay

My English teacher, Karyn Kay, died this morning. My friend Roy told me the news. I didn't know what to think or how I felt about it. I was in shock, to be sure. She was only 63, younger than both my parents.

One of the thoughts that went through my head was, I still have my creative writing notebook from Ms. Kaye's 11th grade creative writing class.

If I close my eyes, I can feel what it felt like to sit in a chair desk, the kind that were both chair and desk combined. I can imagine the room full of 29 students, Ms. Kaye petite and slender, dark red lipstick on her pursed lips, sitting at the front of the classroom nodding as Maria read her poem aloud to the entire class.

Ms. Kaye's eyes were small, but pensive. She was listening. My heart pounded, thinking I could volunteer to read my story, but I didn't feel like I was good enough. The other 28 students in the class were far more talented.

But there was something about Ms. Kaye that made me feel safe. She made me feel like I could raise my hand. I could share something of myself. My heart began to race as my hand slowly crept up. Ms. Kaye and I locked eyes, and she nodded at me:

"Sarah?"

I read my story aloud to class, wondering what she would think. Occasionally I looked up trying to gauge her expression. I knew she was listening.

Thank you, Karyn Kaye for believing in me. Thank you for creating an environment where we could feel free enough to express ourselves as 16 year-olds going through one of the most difficult times in our lives.

Thank you for inspiring young writers to continue writing.

A great woman died today.

She will be missed.

People On YouTube Are Assholes

Rated P for Parenthood and Playtime!

Last Saturday I had the opportunity (thanks to MamaDrama and Playtime!) to see Rated P for Parenthood, a musical about what parenthood is really like. While I saw the play, Ari got to go back to Playtime again!

Playtime! (run by Playwrights Horizons) allows parents of kids 4-12 to go to the theater, while their kids are engaged in art projects including drama, dance, and visual arts! Here's what Ari did last time he went to Playtime!

One of the best parts of this experience was that I was able to take my parents to the show!

While we went to the show, Aunt Mimi and Uncle Mike watched Samara. She told me she had a great time too.

Rated P for Parenthood consists of short skits. There are four characters, two men and two women, who play multiple roles ranging from parents to kids to in-laws and more!

The audience sees what it's like to be parent of a newborn all the way up through when your child goes off to college. It tackles issues such as puberty, when you think your son's soccer coach is a sexy beast, in-laws being over zealous as far as knowing what's best for their grandkids all in a humorous way.

While my parents and I were laughing in commiseration at Rated P, Ari was involved in an art project.

The theme at Playtime that day was Keith Haring. Ari made a Keith Haring-esque collage:

Now we can go to the library and check out books on Keith Haring.

Here's what Ari had to say about his experience at Playtime!:

After the show, we all went out to eat at a diner nearby.

Rated P for Parenthood was hilarious. If you want to see it, check it out by clicking on the "P" below:

If you want your child to go to Playtime! while you see Rated P or another show where Playtime! is offered, click here:

A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People- A Giveaway!

A couple of months ago, Jennifer Berryman, PhD sent me a copy of her parenting book, A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People to review for my blog. Like most things in my house, it disappeared, maybe the cats were reading it. That's all I can figure.

She was kind enough to send me another copy, thank you Dr. Berryman! And it was worth it. A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People is readable, and gives practical advice as to how to cope with various parenting situations.

I like that Dr. Berryman stresses the importance of modeling in the book. Here is an excerpt:

"Never underestimate the power of modeling. Children are constantly learning from their parents and watch their every move. You might think your child is just tagging along while you run errands, but he is watching you closely and learning to behave just like you do. "

Berryman, P. 108.

I find this to be true of Ari. When I'm at the grocery store, he thanks every single person who even remotely helped us, which I believe he modeled from me. I thank the employee that helped me find the flax seed, or the one who checked us out at the register, or the one that said good morning as we walked into the store. Ari sees me say thank you, and he is always running around saying thank you to all the people that help us.

Berryman's book is based on concepts that we intrinsically know, but she highlights them, and makes us think about our behavior:

"Never tell your children their bad. Kids don't need to hear comments like "you're a bad boy."

If you dislike their behavior, tell them that. Say "I don't like it when you hit."

Berryman, P. 81

This is something my dad used to say to me about adults, actually. He had a boss that would tell the employees "I don't like what you did." He wouldn't attack the person's character saying things like "You're a bad worker," or "You're a jerk." It's one thing to say "I don't like you," and quite another to say "I don't like what you're doing." I think Berryman is onto something here.

Now if only Dr. Berryman could teach me to have more patience. I could really use some right now, because I told Ari to clean up his toys 80 times as I'm writing this post and he's just standing here.

Want to read more from Dr. Berryman? Here's your chance to win" A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People.

Leave a comment here about what you hope to gain from this book! Make sure to leave your email address in the comment so I know how to contact you if you win!

Note if you do not leave your email address, I cannot enter you in the drawing.

Winner will be announced on May 2nd, 2012!

Good luck!