A couple of months ago, Jennifer Berryman, PhD sent me a copy of her parenting book, A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People to review for my blog. Like most things in my house, it disappeared, maybe the cats were reading it. That's all I can figure.
She was kind enough to send me another copy, thank you Dr. Berryman! And it was worth it. A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People is readable, and gives practical advice as to how to cope with various parenting situations.
I like that Dr. Berryman stresses the importance of modeling in the book. Here is an excerpt:
"Never underestimate the power of modeling. Children are constantly learning from their parents and watch their every move. You might think your child is just tagging along while you run errands, but he is watching you closely and learning to behave just like you do. "
Berryman, P. 108.
I find this to be true of Ari. When I'm at the grocery store, he thanks every single person who even remotely helped us, which I believe he modeled from me. I thank the employee that helped me find the flax seed, or the one who checked us out at the register, or the one that said good morning as we walked into the store. Ari sees me say thank you, and he is always running around saying thank you to all the people that help us.
Berryman's book is based on concepts that we intrinsically know, but she highlights them, and makes us think about our behavior:
"Never tell your children their bad. Kids don't need to hear comments like "you're a bad boy."
If you dislike their behavior, tell them that. Say "I don't like it when you hit."
Berryman, P. 81
This is something my dad used to say to me about adults, actually. He had a boss that would tell the employees "I don't like what you did." He wouldn't attack the person's character saying things like "You're a bad worker," or "You're a jerk." It's one thing to say "I don't like you," and quite another to say "I don't like what you're doing." I think Berryman is onto something here.
Now if only Dr. Berryman could teach me to have more patience. I could really use some right now, because I told Ari to clean up his toys 80 times as I'm writing this post and he's just standing here.
Want to read more from Dr. Berryman? Here's your chance to win" A Parents' Guide to Creating Wonderful People.
Leave a comment here about what you hope to gain from this book! Make sure to leave your email address in the comment so I know how to contact you if you win!
Note if you do not leave your email address, I cannot enter you in the drawing.
Winner will be announced on May 2nd, 2012!
Good luck!
I don't have any children yet, but every time I think of the future and having kids, the one thing I always worry/think about is how to raise them to be respectful and thoughtful people whom I have a great relationship with. This looks like a great book. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any children yet, but every time I think of the future and having kids, the one thing I always worry/think about is how to raise them to be respectful and thoughtful people whom I have a great relationship with. This looks like a great book. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Crystal! Thanks for entering! Please post your email address here in case you are the winner so that I can contact you!
DeleteWould love to have more insight on raising productive and well mannered individuals.
ReplyDeleteHey Maria! Please post your email address so that I can contact you if you win!
Deletemarlas624@verizon.net
DeleteHi ladies! Please leave your email addresses so I have a way to contact you if you win. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSince becoming a Mom, I jump at any chance to learn how to be the best Mom I can be (though I know I can never be perfect), so would love to win this book to help shape my wonderfully unique little man into a well adjusted young man in time! My email is booey98xc@hotmail.com
ReplyDeleteThis sounds awesome. I try very hard to raise my daughter by modeling healthy behaviors and teach her the importance of what I think are key values. I hope a lot of people spend more time nurturing their children so that America will become a place of morals and values again.
ReplyDeleteHey Cindy! Please post your email address here so that if you are the winner I can let you know!
DeleteBeing a mom is the hardest "job" I have had! By far it is the most important! I am always looking for ways to do it better. From what I've read it seems this book would be a fantastic resource! My email is vanessa@intergeist.com
ReplyDeleteCindy, Maria and Crystal: Please leave your email addresses so I can contact you if you win!
ReplyDeleteAs a psychologist, I know how important modeling is to children's development. This sounds like an informative book for parents, but also one which I would enjoy reading as a professional. tabithai88@aim.com
ReplyDeleteI like the focus on teaching children to have "happy and meaningful lives." My children are grown, but I would love to give this book as a gift to my four siblings, all of whom have young children. Parenting seems to have become quite anxiety-ridden. It sounds like Dr. Berryman's message would be well suited for today's generation of parents.
ReplyDeleteHi Patricia, please leave your email address if you want to enter the giveaway.
DeleteCongrats Jen on your book. Seems like a life time since we were in school in our small home town.
ReplyDeletemelsmini@aol.com
Congrats Jen on your book. Seems like a life time since we were in school in our small home town.
ReplyDeletemelsmini@aol.com