I've spent my entire life telling myself I was a bad person. My inner dialogue has been primarily self-critical. The negative voice in my head was over-powering.
"You can't do this. You're not good at that."
"Give up."
"You're a bad person."
"Nobody loves you."
It hurt me to listen to that voice. I can be quite loud. Sometimes I feel like it's shouting at me.
My father suggested that I should give the voice a name and tell it that it's not welcome. I feel like giving it a name gives it more power.
I realized that I can never get rid of the overwhelming negative thoughts in my head, however I can redirect them. I can tell them to pack their bags and get on an airplane. I can tell them that there's a flight leaving for the North Pole and they'd better hurry because the plane is boarding.
That being said, something magical has happened to me. I woke up and that negative voice was gone.
Today, I believe in myself.
Today, I believe that I can.
Today, I'm aware of my talents.
Today, I know who I am and I like myself.
Today, big things are possible.
I used to believe that people that were confident had big egos. I realize now that it's possible to love yourself without appearing egotistical.
The same way that I've believed in other people for my entire life, I now believe in me, because I'm pretty awesome.
love this, Sarah! But can you tell me how to get there? how to get to that place where the voice has stopped??
ReplyDeleteThe voice has stopped for today. But I know it will be back again. I think the key is managing it. When it comes back recognize that it's there and send it packing. Tell it that you're busy, and you have other things to do. Understand that it is separate from you and it's annoying and impeding your life.
ReplyDeleteSarah, just read your article about 3yr olds.... I have Triplets and agree 100% with you! 2 girls and a boy... And 2 yrs was a breeze! We didn'thave the terrible two's.... But 3 and 4 (what they are now) is a living hell. Hahahah but all worth it!!!
ReplyDeleteHahaha! Awesome dude. Totally worth it but oh man! What a ride!
ReplyDelete