"Don't you bring those muddy shoes in this house, Cindy Harmon!" Nancy Harmon shouted at her 11 year-old daughter. It was a soggy day in Helenville, New Jersey. The rain had just cleared up, and Cindy and her friend Jamie had been romping around in the mud in the backyard. Nancy fastened her apron tighter around her waist turned to face her daughter, who was standing in the door way of the kitchen waiting for her to come inside from the mud.
"Aw mom!" Cindy whined. Nancy Harmon turned her back to her daughter and resumed her task of rinsing off string beans for dinner. Cindy saw her chance. She motioned to Jamie to follow her into the kitchen and upstairs to Cindy's room. A little mud never hurt anyone, right? Cindy was half way across the kitchen floor when Nancy Harmon whirled around, flinging several string beans into the air.
"Aha! Caught you! Girls, take off your shoes and socks and leave them on the porch. Cindy, I want you to mop those foot prints up this instant! Jamie, you can help me with those, she said motioning to the string beans. Cindy sucked her teeth and went to get me out of the closet.
The End.
***
This concludes A Taste of Wool. If you'd like to read the story from the start click here.
Please post your reactions to the story below as comments.
I've read through your entire story, and I felt compelled to comment. I see you have a certain enthusiasm for writing. This is good. But I do have one problem with "A Taste of Wool." It doesn't know who it wants to be for. There's gross-out humor for kids, but clearly inappropriate dialogue and a woman doing Lord knows what with a rodent. In this way, neither age group can fully enjoy the story. Adults will be too mature for the nose-picking, but kids will be too young for the swearing.
ReplyDeleteI recommend that you continue to write. You'll find yourself maturing more and more as a writer and find that one story to fit for everyone. Don't give up, since you seem to have more enjoyment from writing than some writers I know.
Are you a writer? I didn't necessarily have a target audience when I wrote this story. Keep in mind that I wrote it over 10 years ago. I've certainly matured as a writer since that time. I posted it as a record of where I came from. At the time, I was reading a lot of Tom Robbins and felt inspired to write in that style.
ReplyDeleteI see. I didn't know that information. I would love to read a modern story that you've written to compare.
ReplyDeleteI've been writing for years. I don't do it for a living, but who can these days? Frankly, I didn't do much better when I started out. I wrote a vomit-based story when I was 20 that made my sister lock herself in her room. So I can see where this story is coming from.
Believe it or not, it's hard for me to share my writing for this reason. Accepting criticism (constructive though it may be) is difficult for me because of being highly sensitive. But I guess if you're going to put it out there, you need to accept what comes back right?
ReplyDeleteThat's certainly true. There's no way you can truly please everyone, since each person is different. What matters is if YOU like it. I've second-guessed myself so many times.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever seen Arthur? One episode I remember is of Arthur writing a story of how his dog was born. Because he kept asking everyone for their opinions, it ended up being about elephants in space. However, he also told everyone about the original story, and it was loved by all.
What I'm saying is that criticism is hard, but you must remember what you write is part of you. If you're sincere about your story, it'll shine through, no matter what people say.
That's lovely and so true. Thank you! I'll remember that. Now to write a modern story :)
ReplyDelete