Wednesday, September 28, 2011

This One's For All You Pregnant Ladies Out There

Wil found my old pregnancy journal, circa 2008,in the closet today. I was flipping through it and I was amused by this page.

Since it's unlikely that you'll be able to decipher my handwriting, I'll decode it for you:

"Everyone keeps obsessing over the caffeine thing. It's really annoying. I barely drink coffee, and now if I'm seen eating a chocolate chip cookie, they want to alert the media! Quantity-wise, there is significantly less caffeine in chocolate than coffee! What else? Oh, I keep hearing "take it easy!" What does that even mean?" What do people think, I'm going to take it hard? Start mountain climbing or hunting?"

I crack myself up.

But this does bring to light something that I want to discuss. When I was pregnant, and after I had Ari, I received some of the most nonsensical "advice" from co-workers and (for the most part) strangers.

When Ari was three months old, I was nursing him and enjoying a cup of coffee with my cheesecake at Junior's (the best cheesecake in Brooklyn I might add) and this lady, who was a complete stranger, walked by and shouted "Don't drink any brown beverages! They will upset the baby!" I smiled and nodded politely, but wanted to yell obscenities at her:

So, I just want to say, if you're pregnant, or you have a newborn, and someone says some stupid shit to you that makes no sense, feel free to react accordingly.

Now it's your turn. Please tell me the most ridiculous advice you've received as a expectant or new mother.


  1. Same! Seriously, not every baby is gonna have issues digesting brown beverages. Or garlic. It depends entirely on the baby, so stfu am I right?!

    Or the lovely group of girls who told me I was "endangering my sons life" by putting him in a forward facing seat. I spoke with not only his doctor, but a police man and a paramedic. They all said the same thing: a bad accident is a bad accident. Besides, you're more likely to get rear ended anyway.

    I just wish people would keep their ASSvice to themselves!

  2. I think pregnant and nursing moms are the number one victims of unsolicited advice... followed second by new brides. The worst is the advice from people who aren't even parents!
    Most of the time I smile politely too... or I look totally confused and say, "What baby?"


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