Tuesday, August 13, 2013

My Dream and Reality

I'm 33 year-old and I haven't figured out how to accomplish my dream; to make money as a professional writer. The challenge is, I have two little mouths to feed.

As I pursue my dream of publishing a novel, I need to have what society calls "a day job."
It's a stupid term, really. I don't want a "day job," I want my "dream job."

I love being around children. I enjoy teaching. I've worked as a substitute teacher for four years while parenting my children. I started subbing when Ari was one and continued to this day.  I worked through my second pregnancy teaching in the New York City public school system. But I don't have my masters degree.  I have one more year left to finish my M.S.ed, but it's not in early childhood education, it's in rehabilitation counseling.

I don't want to work in Voc/Rehab anymore honestly, but I need to complete my masters degree. It will allow for me to earn more money and get a job that supports my family financially.

I intend on returning to graduate school this year and completing my masters degree.

This is all well and good, but what about my dream?

I know I have to make money, but I want to accomplish my goal and live my dream.

I want to see "Sarah Fader" on the cover of a book. I want to believe that this is going to happen in my lifetime.

I'm not afraid to say "this is what I want." I have been afraid in the past. I've pushed my dreams down deep into a broken dilapidated wooden trunk, never to be heard from again. I didn't believe that it was possible to achieve them.

I do now.

I believe that I can publish a novel. But in order to do that, I need to keep writing. And in order to keep writing that has to be my sole focus. If I have a full-time job, I can't see how I'm going to achieve that dream.

I could think myself into oblivion.

I'm excellent at over-thinking. I should put that on my resume.

Maybe the key is not to think too much, and to make a plan. But what is that plan?

Only I know the answer to that.

2 comments:

  1. I would LOVE to take my kids to London, to see the museums. And everything really. I've only ever read or seen movies about it haha. My husbands actually British; his mama came to Canada when she was 4 with her parents and brother so he's got a lot of family. Maybe I will go with the boys one day, and check out those museums. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh man. What a debate! I'm with you in this. I want to be a writer but the mom in me is saying "Jess, make money. College for two will bury you".

    Screw the little negative voices and pursue your dream!! Write that novel! Elizabeth Barone (my friend, www.elizabethbarone.net) just published her first book and she's got a lot more coming! It is possible, for sure!

    ReplyDelete

What do you think? Feel free to agree or disagree, but hateful comments will be deleted.