I manage chronic anxiety every day.
I see a therapist and I'm currently taking medication for it. In addition to these "Western" measures, I also meditate daily and keep a journal. However, anxiety continues to impact my daily life, regardless of my diligent attempts to address it.
Once of the ways in which it affects me is with regard to business and employment.
For example, if a company seems interested in hiring me or working with me, I have difficulty "playing it cool."
I might receive an email that says:
"We'll contact you if we're interested in working with you."
For someone like me (who manages chronic anxiety) that statement is difficult to comprehend or deal with. In my mind I'm left wondering if the company will ever be back in touch. Here are some thoughts that may go through my head while I'm waiting to hear back from a company:
Will they ever reach out to me?
Is my blog good enough?
I wonder if I should check in with them again?
If I check in with them too much they'll think I'm crazy, even though I'm not crazy I'm just anxious.
I literally have to force myself from checking in with companies or people that are interested in working with me, because I know that my anxiety will scare them off.
It's sad really. Being anxious doesn't define me. It's just something that challenges me. In some ways, it has strengthened me as a person. I have to deal with physical and emotional symptoms that impact my daily functioning. But I don't stop. I don't let it stop me. I still work hard to obtain my goals in life.
I want to be a published writer.
I want to work to promote brands that mean something to me.
I want to be recognized for my work.
The funny thing is despite struggling with anxiety, I still have managed to work successfully with major companies on my blog over the years. The evidence indicates that I am competent at what I do.
Writing this piece is brave.
I am brave.
So if I have obsessively contacted you, don't be scared. I'm just anxious. Nothing more, nothing less.
I am also a writer, an actress, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter and someone who loves her life.