Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Communal Bed is Out of Control!

My son and the cats have been sleeping in my bed for at least a month. For a while it was cute, but now I'm getting cranky and resentful about it. Here are a list of my complaints about the communal bed:

1. My son is a bed hog. He splays his entire body throughout the bed so that I am wedged into a small corner, as if I did something wrong and need to wear a dunce cap.
2. My child insists on leaving the reading lamp on, and when I attempt to turn it off, even if he appears to be fast asleep, he freaks out and screams as loud as possible until I turn it back on.
3. I will awaken to one of the following sights or sounds at any given time at night:
a. One (or both) cat(s) purring very loudly in my ear
b. My son's butt in my face since he has shifted sleeping positions
c. A cat's butt in my face
d. The ambient light from the reading lamp, laughing at me because it is still on.

Needless to say, the communal bed is out of control. Please help me, readers. I need to transition my son back to his bed as soon as possible. What do I do?


  1. I don't have a great answer. I bought both of my kids double beds so that I could sleep there with them. They are still bed hogs, but once they're down for the count I can usually sneak out and get some better sleep.

    And as for the cats? We use a spray bottle. No sleeping on our bed, EVER! I will co-sleep with my kids and get up with them at night as much as they need it, but I am heartless with my cats.

  2. Ha ha ha! I love that you are admitedly heartless with your cats. I always feel guilty when I mean to them.

    Sometimes, I get so frustrated with the 80 gazillion things I have to do, that I end up taking it out by yelling at one of my cats to get out of my son's crib or off the kitchen table or whatever.

    We used to have a no cat policy in the bedroom, but they somehow managed to sneak in when this communal bed nonsense began. Maybe I should use the squirt bottle.


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