"I mean that they're finally gonna confirm that that guy is a full-fledged lunatic!" Replied Marvin Greenwall between sips of his coffee. Marvin was at third grade teacher who was born with a landfill for a mouth. It was like doing push-ups for Marvin to utter a phrase that didn't include vulgar language.
"I can hardly believe they've put up with him this long. Jimmy Rosenfeld peed in his pants after he saw Harry yelling at a bucket of Mr. Clean! It took me hours to calm the little fucker down!"
"Well, Harry is a little off-beat, but he's not..."
Marvin raised his coffee cup in Urie's face.
"Off-beat! Christ, Urie, he's crazy. He's scaring the kids, not to mention he's giving the school a bad name. Parents don't wanna send their kids here, 'cause of the loony janitor who makes kids piss on the floor. Shit, I wouldn't wanna send my kid to a place like that, would you?"
No, Urie thought, he guessed he wouldn't. But still, Harry didn't seem to be unstable, just a little eccentric. Sure, he had a few strange habits like talking to his mop or himself, but was he doing anyone any harm by tangoing to the beat of a different salsa?
"Look, I just can't say with a clear conscience that Harry is crazy. Marvin, this is Harry we're talking about. Harry who used to play poker with you in the teacher's lounge during lunch."
This was true, there was a time when Harry used to engage in frequent poker rounds with Marvin, and whomever else was gullible enough to convince them into playing. Marvin was an expert poker player, and even though they only played for sugar packets, Marvin could rot his entire mouth with the amount of packets he collected during the game.
Marvin recalled the first day he asked Harry asked to join him in his daily poker game. Marvin was "whipping Mr. Klein's ass" at the time, as he would put it, and was getting bored with Klein's game.
Klein was a middle aged 1st grade teacher with an enormous bald spot next to his left ear that made his head look off-center. Every time Marvin saw him in the hallway, he wanted to say "Do you know that you have an enormous bald spot that makes your head look off-center?" But he knew the answer was obvious.
Anyhow, Klein was taking a severe beating in poker, and Marvin happened to noticed out of the corner of his eye Harry strolling down the hall with his bucket and loyal soapy sheep dog.
"Hey Harry!" Marvin yelled out the door of the teacher's lounge "You wanna play a round?"
Harry boorishly turned to face Marvin, the way that a panther might turn to face it's prey. He stared at Marvin for what seemed to Marvin like forever. Finally Harry decided that this was a reasonable offer.
Harry didn't care much for cards. Harry didn't care much for anything, but he was apathetic at best about cards. However, Harry, found Marvin to be quite entertaining, and decided that this was enough of a reason to stick around.
"Okay, okay, so loony tunes played a few rounds of cards with me, big freakin' deal. That doesn't make up for the fact that he's short a few marbles." Marvin stopped and realized that he'd just made an awful pun.
***
This is part four of my short story, "A Taste of Wool." I will be posting a new part each Wednesday, as a part of Wool Wednesdays. Click here to read part 3.
Some questions for you:
1. Who will test Harry to see if he's mentally unstable?
2. Who's the narrator?
3. Is Harry crazy? Why/why not?
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