My Dream and Reality

I'm 33 year-old and I haven't figured out how to accomplish my dream; to make money as a professional writer. The challenge is, I have two little mouths to feed.

As I pursue my dream of publishing a novel, I need to have what society calls "a day job."
It's a stupid term, really. I don't want a "day job," I want my "dream job."

I love being around children. I enjoy teaching. I've worked as a substitute teacher for four years while parenting my children. I started subbing when Ari was one and continued to this day.  I worked through my second pregnancy teaching in the New York City public school system. But I don't have my masters degree.  I have one more year left to finish my M.S.ed, but it's not in early childhood education, it's in rehabilitation counseling.

I don't want to work in Voc/Rehab anymore honestly, but I need to complete my masters degree. It will allow for me to earn more money and get a job that supports my family financially.

I intend on returning to graduate school this year and completing my masters degree.

This is all well and good, but what about my dream?

I know I have to make money, but I want to accomplish my goal and live my dream.

I want to see "Sarah Fader" on the cover of a book. I want to believe that this is going to happen in my lifetime.

I'm not afraid to say "this is what I want." I have been afraid in the past. I've pushed my dreams down deep into a broken dilapidated wooden trunk, never to be heard from again. I didn't believe that it was possible to achieve them.

I do now.

I believe that I can publish a novel. But in order to do that, I need to keep writing. And in order to keep writing that has to be my sole focus. If I have a full-time job, I can't see how I'm going to achieve that dream.

I could think myself into oblivion.

I'm excellent at over-thinking. I should put that on my resume.

Maybe the key is not to think too much, and to make a plan. But what is that plan?

Only I know the answer to that.