Contrary to popular belief, I'm not a superhero. I cannot "do it all," and I don't have eighteen hands. I can't hold Samara, make breakfast, clean the kitchen, bathroom, living room, teach Ari numbers and letters, change Samara's diaper, use the bathroom myself, make Ari nap, make dinner, soothe Samara when she's crying, teach Ari not to be afraid of monsters, find homeopathic remedies for teething babies, take the kids to the playground, and the list goes on and on.
This weekend, I broke down. I lost it. I'm not exaggerating.
I cried. I screamed. I'm still trying to piece myself back together.
I think part of the problem is the idea that things need to be a "certain way." Yes, it's good to have a routine, but when things don't go as planned, I need to learn to adapt.
I remember something my midwife said: "Take 30 minutes a day to be by yourself, without the kids."
I'm beginning to realize that this is imperative for my own sanity.
Have you ever felt this way?
I'm a horrible 'adapter" I'm pretty compulsive and change isn't something I do well with. I hear you sister and I love ya
ReplyDeleteI often read your blog and I think you do an amazing job. Don't be so hard on yourself, sometimes surviving the day is accomplishment enough! You just had a baby, I'm sure your hormones are still haywire, and even if that's no longer a reason the odd meltdown is quite therapeutic. I agree with your midwife take 30 minute to be alone, go for a walk, take a bath whatever but it really helps to recharge. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteBernThis- Love you too!! XOXO.
ReplyDeleteAlex- Aww! thanks! :)
I understand so much.
ReplyDeleteTotally understand this. TOTALLY.
ReplyDeleteCapital Mom- SO glad I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteJessi- I'm glad you understand!
Hey I have one child and I can't do it. Theo is a one-man destruction machine with no off button. He barely talks and essentially does whatever he wants. I have total control - haha! As for two, I bow down to you. I imagine this is a tough as it gets in terms of keeping it together!
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