Thursday, October 18, 2012

Hold The Door For Me

I know you're having a busy day, stranger that is staring at me while I attempt to open a giant heavy metal door. You don't seem that busy to me. You're reading The New York Times and drinking a seemingly delicious cup of joe, but do you think that you could pause your hectic life just long enough to assist me with opening the door? It would really make my day. No? You're a fucking asshole.

Hello, yes, I need help lifting this stroller down the subway stairs. It's really hard, and my neck and back are bothering me. I don't want to have to ask for help. I will ask the next available strong looking man that passes by to help me take the enormous stroller down the stairs.

I don't think I should have to ask him though. I wish I lived in a place where people were more aware of one another and had empathy.

Chivalry is dead. But so is empathy apparently.

I just want someone to hold the door for me, even if it's the fucking elevator door. But a "real" door would be great too. Sometimes, I can't hold my bag, the stroller and a water bottle and open the door. It's just not feasible. I'm sorry, society. I'm sorry that I am overwhelmed with life.

But still, someone should really hold the door for me, especially if that particular person isn't busy, and they're staring at me blankly, watching as I am attempting clumsily to open the door. It's not like I'm asking for money. I just want them to help me open the door, which I clearly cannot open.

It's just a door for G-d sake!

The next time I see someone struggling with a door, I'm going to help that person. I swear, don't test me, I will do it.

I will.






It's a door.


  1. I have had this conversation SO MANY times with female friends it's just sad. It's not just mommy's who notice, but many of us childless woman see men who let doors slam on strollers or play blind when a woman is in dire need of assistance lugging a heavy stroller up subway stairs. Just this morning I saw a woman literally run ahead of a pregnant woman to get a seat on the train. I was especially shocked because it was another women behaving this way. From my almost 20 years of taking the subway on my own, I notice it's primarily other women (myself included) who give their seat to a pregnant woman. Chivalry is dead and good manners is following it to the grave.

  2. Seriously! What ever happened to civil society?! Love this post. Wonderful.

    1. Thanks babe. It makes my blood boil, and not just when it happens to me. When I see other people neglect to hold doors for mothers!

  3. For real. This bugs the shit out of me. People have watched me struggle with a door, too... just watched. It's weird how helping someone is out of the ordinary.
    You hold doors in NYC, and I'll hold doors in LA. Eventually it will catch on.

    1. Good point, armpit sister! If we start a trend, eventually it will catch on!

  4. I hear you on this. I had ankle surgery and had to use crutches and wear a boot for months before the surgery and I was shocked about how many people wouldn't help me with a door or give me a seat on the bus. Lately though, I don't know what has changed in San Francisco, everyone is super helpful to me. As soon as I dump this cane I'm going to be helping everyone with doors etc. It's just kindness and good karma.

    1. That's awful! I'm so sorry you had to endure that! Well, at least it seems like people are getting nicer.


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