Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I'm Not Married

Though my Facebook relationship status indicates otherwise, I'm not married. Yes, I have a child, and yes I have a boyfriend. But, I am not married.

There is a reason for my blatant lie on Facebook. I am sick of dealing with the inappropriate comments that people make when they realize that I am not married and have a child.

Here are some of my favorites:
1. A co-worker said to me "You better get that ring, otherwise you are giving the milk away for free!"
2. "Is your boyfriend the father of your child?"

Here is the best one of all. I am now pregnant with my second child. I was asked this astute query:

3. "Is it the same father?"

Mind you, if I were married, people would not have the guts to question the paternity of my children. It would be assumed that these children were my husband's. But, despite the fact that it is 2010 and not 1952, people cannot seem to process this information.

So, to the social networking world, I am effectively married. At least I can avoid ignorant questions online.

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  1. Congrats on baby #2 :) Sometimes people say the stupidest things. If you were married you could get comments about having kids anyways. I have gotten, "can you afford that?" Very frustrating that people feel like they can say whatever is on their mind.

  2. Wow! I can't imagine ever asking those questions to anyone! People are crazy! And congrats on the baby!

  3. Oh my LORDLY. I've had a few people question if Matt is Nolan's daddy too, I just look at them blankly. REALLY? Nolan is a carbon copy of Matt! How can you even question it? lol.

  4. Wow...I don't even understand that milk comment! I think once you live together for so many years you are married in the eyes of the state anyway (commonlaw marriage). My uncle has been dating the same woman for 32 years and they have no plans to get married. After that long, it would seem silly lol.

    Congrats on the baby again, I'm uber excited!!

  5. People suck. You'd think after doing all that work for baby #1 and everything else you do that Wil gets yelled at enough to do his part. There's nothing free about it.

  6. Yikes! The human race should just keep its collective mouth shut!

  7. It's just as well you're not married if you have a boyfriend :-)

  8. You are the product of how our society has become so immoral......there is no shame now in bringing illegitimate children into the world. We have become a Godless society.....and you my dear are helping us along the road to destruction. People have become soulless and just look to their own pleasures to fill empty lives....this is very sad.

  9. Anonymous - Thank you for your comment. You just proved my point about how self-righteous and judgmental society can be. As for being soulless, I don't know you and I think it unfair for you to make judgements about whether or not I have a soul. I hope you feel better about yourself after posting this comment.

  10. Dear Anonymous: This is 2010, not 1910. Not being married doesn't mean a woman is soulless or immoral. Being a judgemental asshole however? Yeah that's closer. Hopefully YOUR empty life was filled a little bit by posting such ridiculous crap.

    P.S. Guess I'M soulless too. And immoral. But guess what? I LOVE IT. Excuse me while I go have soulless, immoral sex with my non-husband.

    P.S.S I'm also a young mom, bet that really grits on your 'morals'.

  11. This blog entry and it's subsequent comments just made my morning.
    And to "Anonymous"- Thank you for being such a coward as to not leave your name. You gave us all a giggle. However, may you find enough peace in your heart to change your hateful thoughts. :)

  12. I'm so glad this made your morning Dara! Yay!

  13. Ooh, lemme see if I can come up with some other ones...

    "Was this one planned?"
    "Whose last name will the baby have?"
    "What do DB's parents think about it?"

    I don't have children, but even those of us without get inappropriate questions and statements like "oh, you still have time," (even though it was by choice).

    Good for you for nipping it in the bud, sorry it became necessary.

  14. I'm amazed at the inappropriate things people say these days. As my friend Susan commented in my similar post, maybe they feel they can say these things to women because we're less likely to haul off and punch them.

  15. i totally understand!!!! most important thing is you love your family! i go through these questions all the time with people i know and just meet for the first time. i often introduce patrick as the father of my baby to avoid going into the whole "we're not married" conversation. enjoy your week!


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