Sunday, December 2, 2012

You're Not a Robot

I designed my robot.
He's great, and does exactly what I him to do, only he doesn't.
I made him do the dishes, and clean the living room, and most importantly, he cleans the bathroom.
He doesn't listen to me at all.
He was supposed to listen.
I designed him to rub my back and cuddle with me when I'm sad.
He doesn't do that either.
Maybe something is broken.
I'm going to unscrew his inner parts and adjust them.
My robot was supposed to do all these things.
He promised to do them.
He promised....to...do...them...
Only he's not a robot at all.
He's a person.
I didn't design him.
He has thoughts and feelings.
He can disagree with me.
And that's hard.
It's hard for me.
I can't change him.
He is another person separate from me.
We are sometimes one.
We are sometimes two...
Two...
Two people.
We are not robots.
We are humans.
We are so different.
We also understand each other.
Only sometimes we don't.
And that's hard...
Challenging?
Nope, hard.
I am honest.
I am scared.
He is honest.
He is not scared.
Sometimes, I'm honest and I'm not afraid.
No one is a robot.
I designed wrong.
I can only be who I am.
He can only be who he is.
I've been doing it all wrong.
Back to the drawing board.
Maybe if I accept that he is a human, and I am a human we can be humans together.
I'll try that.
Next...
Time.

6 comments:

  1. It reminds me of your doll one, but different.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Shit... I'm still working on this myself... because it's hard for me too when the programed outcome does not happen. Please stop having feelings and just give me what I need from you...
    I'm not perfect, you're not perfect.
    You're right - hard.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I get really bummed when the programmed outcome doesn't happen. So hard!

    ReplyDelete

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