Sunday, April 25, 2010

PREGNANT?

I was feeling nauseated, and it occurred to me that I hadn't gotten my period, so I made Wil go out and get me the following items:

1. Chicken soup
2. Ginger Ale
3. A pregnancy test.

I quickly consumed the soup and nursed the ginger ale. I decided it was time to tackle the pregnancy test.

I ripped open the box and threw the directions to the side. I figured, I've done this before, I know exactly what to do this time! After I peed on the stick, the following results popped up nearly instantaneously:



I ran out of the bathroom and told Wil:
"We're having a baby!"

We were excited, despite the fact that we don't have a lot of money at the moment.

For the next few days I went around telling close friends that I, indeed, was expecting a second child. I was nauseated, craving certain foods, the works. I even stopped coffee for a few days!
I made an appointment with a midwife to see how far along I was.

On one of my daily trips to the restroom, I noticed the second pregnancy test staring me the face. I decided, for some unknown reason, to take the second test. The same result came up, but then I looked at the box:


I realized that I was a complete moron! I wasn't pregnant! I assumed I was with child because both boxes had a line in them. One of them being the "control" box and the second one being the "you're pregnant" box. However, I failed to look at the box, which clearly tells the user to check for a plus (+) sign.


The crazy thing is that I was experiencing many of the early pregnancy symptoms. I guess it was the placebo effect, I believed that I was pregnant, so my body compensated.

The next few days were filled with me telling my friends that I was completely insane.

The moral of the story: read directions.

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19 comments:

  1. Holy shit. That's embarrasing. Hope you're ok with the outcome.....

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  2. Oh my...lol Well when we were trying I thought I was pregnant even when I wasn't. So weird but I think our bodies like to freak us out.

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  3. Keyona- I know right?? So embarrassing! I was bummed, I really got excited there for a moment!

    Julie- Our bodies are funny like that, it's true!

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  4. Man, I was like really bummed by the end of this blog.

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  5. Amanda- I know! I'm bummed in real life. You know what I need right now? Some of your cookies!!

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  6. Oh yeah. I really hate that specific brand of tests because of that. Also? The digital brand because it's so in your face about the answer.

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  7. HA HA HA! Yes! The digital test can be offensive! I remember the first test that I took with Ari was so simple! It was like "pink line" = pregnant!

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  8. OMG YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME!!! LOL!! But IF/WHEN you do, I have stuff :)

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  9. Lol, Cordy is the all-powerful giver of baby stuff! Now I think Ari definitely needs a sibling.

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  10. Wow. Yikes. Hey - we didn't get a phone call! >:-( Lol.

    You know, you guys are WAY overdue for a get-together! Maybe we should just do lunch in Brooklyn some Sunday!

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  11. We are way overdue!! We want to come for Shabbos! But lunch is Brooklyn is cool too!:000

    I was on the verge of calling you guys actually! And then I took the 2nd test :(((

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  12. Darn! I'm sorry. What a let-down! :(

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  13. Kyndale- I know :( so sad.

    Holly - Anytime, lady!;)

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  14. ROFL!

    You make my life. I heart you tons.

    P.S. Get pregnant RIGHT NOW :D

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  15. that is why I love the invention of the digital read out...I have taken 2 of those and they were correct both times.

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  16. Next time, should there be a next time, I will buy the idiot proof ... I mean digital test!

    Guess what? I'm pregnant now!

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  17. haha, this story is too funny! i believe in the body/mind connection and this is proof we can do whatever we put our minds to!

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